Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien targeted CBS, President Bush's National Guard service, and the vice presidential candidates, among other topics, on Friday night. The other late-night shows were reruns.
Jay Leno:
"Happy TGIF, everybody. Or, as Republicans call it, 'Thank God it's a forgery.'"
Jay Leno:
"Today, CBS unveiled their new slogan, 'Truth? You can't handle the truth!'"
Jay Leno:
"There was one kind of embarrassing moment for President Bush when he heard that forged documents about him had been discovered. Bush said, 'What, you mean they found my diploma from Yale?'"
Jay Leno:
"What's the difference between Hurricane Ivan and President Bush? We know Hurricane Ivan was in Alabama."
Jay Leno:
"Ralph Nader is in Las Vegas tomorrow. He's not addressing anyone, he's just going to 'The Star Trek Experience' at the Vegas Hilton."
Jay Leno:
"You know, I saw a picture of John Edwards today. It was on the side of a carton of milk."
Jay Leno:
"Dick Cheney was campaigning in Reno, Nevada. Actually did some gambling. Yeah, he was gambling. He had some bacon and eggs, and tried to walk up a flight of stairs."
Conan O'Brien:
"Democrats are saying that President Bush is refusing to take part in a town hall debate with John Kerry, 'cause Bush is worried about the questions the audience will ask him. After hearing this, the President said, 'That's ridiculous. I'm not worried about the questions, I'm worried about the answers.'"
