Jay Leno unleashed a number of jokes last night at CBS's handling of suspect Bush National Guard documents, as well as the Kerry campaign and President Bush's intellect. Meanwhile, Conan O'Brien largely avoided political news. The other late-night comedians were in re-runs this week.
Jay Leno:
"Here's some good news, unemployment down to 5.4%. That's good news. Of course, a lot of people – a lot of people still looking for jobs. In fact, if you want a job in TV, I understand 60 Minutes needs a fact checker."
Jay Leno:
"CBS has a new slogan – 'Hey, seemed real to us.'"
Jay Leno:
"Well, that's the big story this week, these forged documents, you know, the ones on 60 Minutes. Or as the Democrats call them – 'weapons of mass distraction.'"
Jay Leno:
"There was speculation that someone may have intentionally duped Dan Rather and the 60 Minutes cast by passing them forged documents. See, don't you hate these scams that target the elderly? It is wrong."
Jay Leno:
"Senator Ted Kennedy, now hitting the campaign trail with Senator John Kerry. Well, you know what they say – two huge heads are better than one."
Jay Leno:
"Today, Senator Kennedy accused President Bush of incompetence. That's what he said. Bush fired back, he said 'Let me tell you something, pal. My bladder is working just fine.'"
Jay Leno:
"Bush and Cheney say they're now targeting people that can't make up their minds, so, apparently, they're trying to get John Kerry's vote, as well."
Conan O'Brien:
"This is the latest news, that 18,000 people have sent a petition to President Bush, asking him to pardon Martha Stewart. Yeah, not surprisingly, all the signatures were from prisoners."
