The late night comedians last night focused their political humor on the Republican convention, President Bush's remarks on Iraq, and Al Gore's speeding ticket.
Jay Leno:
"The Republican convention started in New York City today. And the Republicans opened their convention in the traditional way – with a prayer for more money."
Jay Leno:
"Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge said he will not be attending the convention in New York City. Well, that's reassuring, when the head of Homeland Security goes, 'I'm not going there!'"
Jay Leno:
"A scary moment for Vice President Dick Cheney. He was on Air Force 2, and a small plane came towards them. . . . Air Force 2 had to take emergency evasive action to avoid hitting the small plane. And for a minute there, George Bush came this close to becoming acting president."
Jay Leno:
"President Bush said the problem we're having in Iraq is because we won the war too quickly. He said the war was a 'catastrophic success.' He also called the economy a 'disastrous achievement.'"
Jay Leno:
"In the latest issue of GQ, Gentleman's Quarterly, John Kerry talks about what a man should look for in a woman. GQ? If John Kerry's going to talk about what he likes in a woman, shouldn't it be in Fortune or Money magazine, one of those?"
Jay Leno:
"Al Gore caught driving 75 miles an hour on a highway up in Oregon. Cited for speeding. Poor Al Gore. You know, he'll do anything to get his name on a ticket now."
David Letterman:
"Great time to be in New York City. We got the protestors. We got the riot police, the bomb sniffing dogs. Where do you folks go from here? Najaf?"
David Letterman:
"The Republican convention goes on all week, but of course the highlight will be toward the end of the week. George Bush will show up for one day, you know, just like he did in the National Guard."
