Vice President Dick Cheney commented at a luncheon yesterday in Utah, "They say Sen. Edwards got picked because he's charming, good looking, sexy. . . . I said, 'How do you think I got the job?'"
On NBC, Jay Leno joked, "Teresa Heinz Kerry. Very, very well educated woman. In fact, she can say 'shove it' in five different languages. . . .In talking about the incident today, John Kerry said he would never criticize his wife. When a reporter asked him why, he said oh, he had over a billion reasons. . . .Last night, Illinois senatorial candidate Barack Obama, he's the new rising star of the Democratic Party, he gave the keynote address at the Democratic convention. When they told President Bush about Obama, Bush said, 'Isn't that the guy we can't find? Why don't we grab him?' . . .Have you heard about this new movie, The Manchurian Candidate? Supposedly very scary. A very scary movie. It's about a President who gets a chip implanted in his head while he's in the military and people can tell him to do whatever they want. Today, Dick Cheney said, 'Shut up, you are ruining everything!'"
On CBS, David Letterman commented, "You folks watch the Democratic National Convention last night on the television? I'm telling you, with that kind of excitement, you'd have to go back to the, oh, Dukakis-Benson era.. . .CBS, by the way, did not carry the convention last night. CBS, this network decided not to carry the convention. You know you're in trouble when you're too dull for CBS. . . .Ted Kennedy spoke at the convention last night. He looked fantastic, by the way, didn't he look great? He's lost so much weight he had to borrow a pants suit from Hillary. . . .John Edwards of course was at the convention, he has a very impressive resume. He was a trial lawyer, you know, that he was a Senator, and former host of Family Feud."
Added Craig Kilborn, "I don't know if you saw this at the Democratic National Convention, John Edwards spoke there. He described John Kerry by saying he is strong, decisive and hogs the covers."
