7/26/04 10:00 AM EST
The Latest From Late Night Comedians
NBC's Jay Leno joked, "Well, the 9/11 Commission report came out yesterday. President Bush said he is not going to read the report. He's going to wait for the books on tape version. . . And Sandy Berger, he has not read the 9/11 report, either, but he does have a copy of it stuffed in his pants." Added Leno, "In 'ESPN' magazine, John Kerry said he learned a lot about life from playing sports. He had to fight, like so many other kids from impoverished areas who had to turn to polo as a way out." On CBS, David Letterman quipped, "Security is going to be tight at the Republican convention. You will be frisked. You will be patted down and you will be groped. And that is just by Arnold."