Maybe he should be embarrassed, but that's not why President Clinton is red faced. Folks who've seen the outgoing prez in recent days and bouncing from party to party here to thank Democrats for supporting him through his troubles tell Whispers that his mug looks unusually pink and greasy. Insiders tell us the unnatural hue is the result of a severe case of rosacea, a chronic dermatitis of the face that mostly affects the nose and cheeks. It's caused by dilation of the capillaries, but the cause is a mystery.
Party favors
One of the LaLa land parties that President Clinton hung out at the longest Sunday was hosted by the Arkansas delegation at the city's art deco Union Station. Clinton stuck around from start to finish, during which he delivered a 35-minute pep talk about Al Gore. But the most memorable thing he said that night was that he can't wait to return to Arkansas. During the gig, the partying prez smoothly worked the crowd, amazingly recalling the names of many there. Just before he ducked out, one supporter handed him a lapel pin showing the Democratic donkey–how shall we say?–mounting (for lack of a more polite term) the GOP's elephant mascot. Clinton didn't seem to get it at first, then burst out laughing. "I'll have to wait until January [after he leaves office] before I wear this," he chuckled.
Bunny power
The Democratic Party's skittishness about schmoozing at the Playboy mansion clearly didn't wear off on the scribes covering its national convention. The Dems may have forced Rep. Loretta Sanchez to move her sold-out Latino fundraiser at the mansion to another venue, but that didn't stop dozens of reporter types from accepting Hugh Hefner's invite to party at his home over the weekend. The most prominent guest: Bryant Gumbel. He and other media bigs spent Saturday evening chowing down on grilled shrimp and sausage and taking tours of the sprawling house with Playboy models dressed in very revealing bunny suits. There was no nudity, although some guests say the bunnies pointed out areas where they've nuzzled–and then some–with Hef, who, by the way, was decked out in a conservative suit. Most odd about the estate: Hef has animal cages spread throughout filled with his pets, including monkeys and a parrot that screeches "hello."
The long goodbye
No matter what his aides may say, stepping out of the spotlight is really bugging President Clinton. Associates tell Whispers that he's already beginning to feel the pangs of withdrawal, especially when he thinks about moving out of the Oval Office. "The governing part of the job, that's what he'll miss most," his spokesman Joe Lockhart confessed during a breakfast meeting. For instance, Lockhart said, between bites of French toast and melon, Clinton was having trouble paring his Monday night valedictory speech to an hour. Nonetheless, he says Clinton will try to stay out of Vice President Al Gore's way over the next two months–with two exceptions: Adding to the $100 million he has personally raised for the Democrats this year and fighting GOP budget changes. And what'll Clinton do during the dead time? Ponder his next move and draw up the blueprints for his presidential library.
Say what?
There are three freshly painted black-and-white murals on the brick walls of the Figueroa Hotel across from the Staples Center, home to the Democratic convention. The pics feature Cesar Chavez, Robert F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, and Franklin D. Roosevelt and his wife, Eleanor. Smack in the middle of the mural: Apple Computer's motto, "Think Different." No surprise there, considering the murals are sponsored by the computer giant. There's another huge mural across Figueroa Street, this one in color and sponsored by an Internet firm. It features the face of a terrified man who's having his teeth pulled. Go figure.
Another victory for capitalism
Chicago Tribune columnist Clarence Page was riding in a CNN limo to the Staples Center for an appearance on the cable network Sunday when he struck up a conversation with his driver, "Fred." Fred told him he was one of the hundreds of self-described anarchists who traveled to L.A. to protest capitalism. But, something happened on the way to the Staples Center. "I was gonna be a protester, but I got this job instead," the young driver told the writer. Page's reaction: "Capitalism wins again." Turns out it was the perfect fit. The kid found a back entrance to the media tents, enabling Page to avoid the massive lines at the main gate. Page was delighted, but it got him thinking: "With all this tight security, we have a kid that's wired into the anarchists who can get right in." Great security, huh?
Freebies and discounts
The press has it pretty darn good at national party conventions–and this one's no exception. Even before the Democratic convention kicked off, the city of L.A. threw a massive party downtown for journalists, complete with nearly a dozen open bars, tables of tasty treats like pulled pork and sushi, and entertainment including bands such as Girls from Ipanima, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, and Dakota Moon. And that was just for starters. Beginning today, convention organizers are offering free neck and back massages to reporters. Then there are the special merchant discounts, such as the 15 percent price cut offered at the nearby Brooks Brothers to anyone with convention credentials. We decided to take a stroll to the clothier to see if the offer was legit. Sure, said a store clerk, noting that Democratic customers were mostly buying duds on sale. "They're not like our regular customers, the Republicans."
The inside view
Today we add a new category to Whispers: "I'm not a vice president, but I play one on TV." Enter actor Tim Matheson, who plays the veep on NBC's West Wing and JFK in an upcoming CBS mini-series. Given that he's an experienced vice president, we asked him to evaluate the Republican and Democratic No. 2s. Surprisingly, he agreed, and a few days later wrote us back.
"Here is the view from the Vice President's office, in the WEST WING of the White House (not far from beautiful downtown Burbank, I might add): Cheney as Bush's running mate. More like a baby sitter, if you ask me. Cheney is added to the ticket to bring GRAVITAS and EXPERIENCE. Why? Because as far as I can see, W's only qualification for the nomination is that he DIDN'T cheat on HIS wife (at least not while sober), and that he wears his religion on his sleeve. Heck, he talks more about Jesus than my Minister! Policies? We'll get to THAT after elected, Jeeze! Why the hurry? 'I'm the ANTI Clinton!! The GOOD Boomer!! That's ALL you need to know!' Cheney is like a Presidential 'Driver's Ed' teacher. W. gets the Learner's Permit, and Cheney sees to it that he practices, practices, practices! Come to think of it, maybe they've got the ticket upside down: Cheney-Bush. (W. barely has the experience in public office of Dan Quayle). Cheney has at least BEEN in the Oval Office on business.
"Lieberman as Gore's running mate. Al ALSO selected an adult for the ticket, but for a different reason! Lieberman is a man who really knows the difference between right and wrong, and says so. This kinda takes Gore off of the hook for being a good VP (can't knock the boss!) and not criticizing Clinton too much on l'affair Lewinsky. Also, Lieberman helps balance out Gore's leftist leaning ways. He is a conservative Democrat, and this will hopefully bring moderates into the Democratic camp in November. But as an Orthodox Jew, will Lieberman have to go to the Southern Baptist Convention or the Greater Houston Ministerial Association (as did Catholic John F. Kennedy in 1960) and define that he will 'give true soul and full faith to the doctrines of the Constitution' instead of taking orders from his religious affiliation? Kennedy had to say he wasn't working for the Pope, what about Lieberman? 'I won't take orders from my Rabbi? My Aunt Minnie?' Actually, with Lieberman as VP, we'll have a whole new category of humor: Jewish/Political jokes! This looks promising! Finally some HUMOR in this dull, dreary, 50's-like race!
"It's really startling for me to be currently playing JFK (in a CBS miniseries entitled JACKIE-A LIFE) and to view this year's leading presidential candidate, George W. Bush! How things have been devalued since 1960. BOTH candidates in 1960 were well qualified to become president: John F. Kennedy was a war hero, Pulitzer Prize-winning author, congressman, senator, and pretty smart fellow. And Richard Nixon was first a congressman, then vice president to Dwight D. Eisenhower. W. seems not to have read a book, let alone written one. But he gets the nomination because he knows right from wrong. Hey, there's a qualification!
"But I must now return to the WEST WING and prepare diligently for my duties as vice president–clean my golf clubs and learn my lines for tomorrow, probably to get upstaged by the president! But, I'm biding my time. My only real worry is that with the tremendous voter disconnect this year-some say 'Clinton fatigue,' I also add 'impeachment fatigue.' "After the November election THE WEST WING may be the only liberal administration that this country has to look to. For me, that's a depressing thought."
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