Fortunately, the folks at MEMRI -- the Middle East Media Research Institute -- have translated the regime's sage interpretation, so we in the West can share in the news. Here's a small dose: "The Revenge of the Sith is, in fact, a political film about a free world facing a satanic empire," explains a voice-over. "The film shows that even this evil empire was an ordinary republic in the beginning. This is why many film critics draw a parallel between the plot of The Revenge of the Sith and political events in the U.S."

Ahmadinejad: Obi-Wan in Iran? Credit: Atta Kenare--AFP/Getty Images

"In what seems like a children's film, [Lucas] predicts the dark and gloomy future of the U.S.A. Elsewhere in the film, the discussions between Lord Sith and Anakin remind the viewer of the opinions held by White House politicians. It shows that for the sake of popularity, regimes talk about the rule of the people and democracy, but, in fact, they are tyrannies and dictatorships."

Hmm ... So George Bush is Anakin Skywalker? And Dick Cheney -- he must be, what, Darth Sidious? (Hey, they both said "The end of the war is near.") Or is he Count Dooku?

This is beginning to make sense. So, Tehran's off-the-wall president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad -- he's actually Obi-Wan Kenobi. His boss, supreme Ayatollah Ali Khamenei -- he must be that guy Mace Windu. And Iran's out-of-control Revolutionary Guards -- the ones who fund Hezbollah and kidnap British soldiers -- they gotta be ... Jedi knights?

Right. So who's Yoda?