Maze of Terror: a Settler's Diary
Fear and faith in a West Bank settlement
A cold man.
But this coldness of character went together with a flaming feeling for God and the Jewish people, not as individuals who could be hurt by his severe manner but as a nation.
He adored his family, yet his inner life was larger and more allegorical. He came to Israel because he believed the biblical prophecy that Jews would return to the land. He believed this was the time of the redemption. He was back in the Bible when God spoke to people.
Since the signing of the "peace treaty," at least 60 Israelis have been killed. Many of them he reached when their lungs and stomachs were hanging out. He saw the ancient Philistines before his eyes. Heard the Jewish nation crying. The night before he committed his act of revenge, as he tried to listen to the Book of Esther for Purim in the Cave of the Fathers, he heard the chants of the modern Arabs, "Itbach el Yehud" ("Kill the Jews").
How long he planned to rise up like an ancient Samson and slay the ancient enemy, no one knows. Family and friends sensed something was brewing. But he was very introverted. His family tried to soothe the uneasiness they felt by saying, "You're doing enough for the Jewish nation already, Baruch." He would just smile.
If there were a God, and if he came to people and made them do earth shattering things, then he would come to a man like Baruch. Cold and hard like ice, with a fiery devotion to things higher and deeper than this world.
God would choose a man who could unblinkingly sit with his son and listen to the Book of Esther in the night, and in the morning put on his Army uniform, take his rifle and much ammunition, creep out of the house, knowing the chances were he'd never see his sleeping wife or children again. FEB. 28, 1994. Today I ride into work with a neighbor. She stations herself in the aisle, and being obese, no one can move one way or another. Then she begins her loud monologue, which covers everything from the husband she hates to the Russians upstairs who drive her crazy. But today the monologue included much about Baruch Goldstein. "They say Baruch Goldstein committed murder? Lies, outright lies! He didn't murder; he was murdered! The goyim started the rumor about him murdering because he wasn't afraid to walk around freely. The goyim don't like Jews who aren't afraid, so they framed him. Baruch kill? No, he was killed." MARCH 13, 1994. At the Sabbath meal, we discussed tactics of slaughter. What's come over us?
Baruch Goldstein changed the consciousness of us all. Baruch acted like a biblical Jew. Shimon and Levi also slaughtered "unarmed civilians"--all the citizens of Shechem [Nablus], and that after their circumcision.
We argue a lot now in our family. Shmuelie and Estie support what Baruch did. Frank says it will only bring tragedy. This morning we heard on the news that the Army has been ordered to use every means to prevent Jewish settlers from firing their weapons at Arabs, even if it means the Army firing at the Jews! Is this the tragedy Frank meant?
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