Q&A With Elizabeth Edwards: I've Never Been Good at Leisure
Men get a bigger pass. John is going to be campaigning. Sen. [Barack] Obama is campaigning, and he has children. Somehow it's only when I was going to be campaigning that we start to examine whether, as a parent, this is the right decision. That's always been so. I started practicing law in 1977 and had my first child in '79. My entire adult life had that kind of scrutiny. I think part of it actually is ourselves [women]—scrutinizing ourselves and trying to come to grips with our changed roles. That part of it is actually healthy. The part that is meant to be sanctimonious or judgmental, that's obviously not healthy.
On how she has the energy to keep her schedule, be a mom, wife, and take care of herself.
I'm actually one of those people who get up energetic in the morning. And I have help. I freely admit I have help. I'm 58 years old, and it's not just that we travel, but I'm also older, and honestly, even when the kids were younger, if they took off running, I physically couldn't catch them. You want to come work for us? I need you to be able to run 100 yards, and I need to watch you. I have less energy than I did when I was a younger parent, although I was never really a young parent. I had my first child [Wade] when I was 31. But I was a more fit parent at one point. But now I have lots more patience. So it may be that I can't catch them in the park before they can get to the street, but I can sit with them for hours as they try to tie their shoe. There's a trade-off, I guess. I don't get frustrated before they get frustrated.
On what her typical week is like now.
Last week I was on John's poverty tour with him. Then I flew to Washington for a Planned Parenthood speech. Had dinner with Cate [the Edwardses' second child, who is a Harvard law student], and got up at 2:45 a.m. and worked on the speech. Gave that and left for Iowa. Had three women's house parties in Iowa and flew back to North Carolina on Wednesday. Wednesday was our oldest son's [Wade's] birthday, and we have this thing we do in our family, where because the person who's having the birthday gets all the attention, the person who's not having the birthday is feeling kind of left out and often grumpy and does things to try and destroy the birthday. So we figured out a strategy about this: If it's not your birthday, the birthday child gives you a present. So you have something to look forward to. Since we can't have a party for Wade, instead we'll go out and buy the presents for you that Wade would have bought for you. So the three of us went to a toy store in Raleigh and bought them probably more than one thing, to be honest. Went to a grocery store and bought flowers. Went to Wade's grave. Sang happy birthday, left the flowers, said our prayers. Drove back to Chapel Hill, changed clothes, got in the car. Drove three hours to Roanoke for a concert. I spoke, and John spoke. The children didn't want to get on stage and went to the back room to play "Guess Who" games. Then drove the three hours home. Thursday had the morning "off"—actually writing a speech. Went to see my parents, who are aging and live in Chapel Hill. Flew to Oklahoma. Did a fundraiser and gave a Friday morning speech at Compassionate Friends, a bereavement group. But honestly? It's the unpacking part that's the hardest. Suitcases from my last trip are sitting in my closet unpacked.
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