After the Fall
Struggling for emotional balance after September 11
Don Coleman, 55, a Richmond, Va., accountant, finds himself "a little more apprehensive, a little more anxious." Says his 47-year-old wife, Darlene, a hairdresser, "It's taken the zest out of everything. My clients feel the same way. Everybody is just sad and insecure. We went from being so carefree to being so worried. And I can't imagine that anybody could make us feel secure."
This loss of security is maddening. "I resent it," Darlene Coleman says. Adds Robinson: "I was really angry that somebody thought they had the right to take that away."
Women, it seems, have been more affected than men. The Pew survey showed that 4 out of 10 women reported feeling depressed, compared with 1 out of 5 men; 19 percent of women had experienced insomnia since the attacks, but only 7 percent of the men had trouble sleeping.
The attacks of autumn, for some, also reignited old traumas such as the death of a parent or spouse. "We have seen more people dealing with previous losses," says Arthrell, director of professional services for Family and Children's Services, a private, nonprofit counseling agency in Tulsa, Okla. It, like many other such agencies around the country, saw a dramatic jump in client calls after September 11. "Old, unfinished issues emerge. Even though some of them happened years before, losses have been felt all over again. People are missing those who would have comforted them," she says. Some had even stronger reactions and sought more help. "There are a lot who have gone to their physician for medication for anxiety."
Why do some people get and remain more upset than others? Some are more naturally optimistic. And, "for many people who were previously depressed, it certainly is another burden," says Julie Barnes, a clinical psychologist in New York's Greenwich Village. For some, "it's been the straw that broke the camel's back. The people who have reconnected to their work, family, a purpose, a meaning in their life, those people seem to be doing really well."
Coping styles. Though sad, some have done well from the start. Their reaction has been to embrace life, looking for the good, cherishing moments and seeking solace. This search for the good in the midst of the awful has also comforted many who were juggling feelings of anger and grief. "In some ways I've taken more pleasure in life," says Robinson. "I'm much more into taking walks on the beach. It's felt like a lifeline, a connection, a sense of peace. It doesn't change anything, but it gives a sense of comfort." She also has been in closer touch with her parents and sister.
Cummins, a 32-year-old senior research adviser for AARP in Washington, D.C., is "making sure my son and husband are safe and well and fed, that our home is a comfortable place, and that we don't put going to the grocery store to catch the latest deal on soda over taking Reid to the park."
Feeling the need to be connected is typical. In the wake of the attacks "more people are signing up for dating services, wanting to be in relationships," Lerner says. "More people are going to church, seeing psychotherapists."
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