Dorm Room Blues
Why mixing two strangers together isn't necessarily a recipe for disaster
Ryan Costello, a freshman majoring in criminal justice at St. John's University in Queens, N.Y., says he had a naked-roommate problem in his first year. "It's as if he doesn't own clothes," says Costello, who reports that he often found his roomie in the buff. In his first semester he aired his frustration by posting to a Facebook group called "The Naked Roommate: And Everything Else You Might Run Into in College"—and he found plenty of company online.
Welcome to life in a college dorm. Even in tamer schools, having teens live in close quarters without parental supervision—often for the first time—is bound to make for bizarre situations. The frenetic scene in freshman dorms can make them quite a blast, and you'll most likely meet friends you'll never forget. But the intense social interaction can also make them pressure cookers: Think back-stabbing cliques, noisy neighbors, group kitchens overflowing with dirty dishes, and nasty vomit in the bathroom sinks.
One key to survival is to scope out what to expect before you get there. Spend some time in a dorm—a night, if possible—away from parents and the organized tour. If you can't make the trip in person, consider sending Facebook or MySpace messages to current residents, or post to a campuswide housing forum. Find out what it's really like to live there: Depending on your preferences, it'll be helpful to know how much drunkenness, debauchery, and illicit drug use go on during the typical Saturday night, and whether your resident adviser is likely to help you or spurn you. "Sometimes it can be kind of an Animal House situation," says M. J. Smith, coauthor of The Smart Student's Guide to Healthy Living: How to Survive Stress, Late Nights, & the College Cafeteria, "mostly because anything goes anytime"—even if it's as innocuous as a 2 a.m. slice of pizza or an all-night bowling extravaganza.
Should you live in a dorm at all? Students and residential life experts who have gone through it all before say yes: People who start college off campus graduate at lower rates, don't perform as well academically, and report less satisfaction with their college experiences. Studies also report greater satisfaction among students who research housing options before they enroll.
Don't assume that colleges fall into stereotypes: Some large universities have "living-learning communities" that combine academics and residential life to make big campuses feel small. The University of Maryland, for example, has 11 different learning communities clustered around academic interests such as foreign languages, writing, and engineering.
On a personal level, respect your roommate and speak up quickly if you find a behavior disturbing (most people are respectful at first but have trouble changing once a routine sets in). But unless you're truly unbearable, don't live in a single your freshman year: Having roommates builds character and can be an amazing experience.
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