What Parents Should Ask High School Counselors
Tips for helping high school students get ready for college
Between baseball practices and play rehearsals, it can be hard to find time to talk to your kids about college much less chat with their high school counselor. But with the number of applications to college setting records every year, it's more important than ever. So we asked a few counselors from different types of schools across the country some of the questions they get asked most often. And because they also are parents of kids that have gone off to college, our three counselors have an extra-sharp focus on what you should be discussing in your next appointment in the guidance office.
Jim Durgin is a member of the American School Counselor Association, a volunteer for College Summit, and a counselor in the Denver public school system since 1990. Working in a high school with close to 1,500 students, he juggles the needs of students ranging from the wealthiest to the poorest in the area. With a daughter who recently navigated the college application process herself, Durgin offers these questions for parents and students:
When should I start planning for college? What's the timeframe?
Applying for schools and applying for scholarships are two distinct periods. A savvy counselor is going to pay attention to the family ethos and dynamics. As a general rule, spring semester of junior year is a great time to be looking at types of schools and types of colleges. For the students, they should ask themselves: Which school is a good fit for me?
How important is it to have a reach school, a target school, and a safety or backup school?
I tend to downplay these questions, but I hear them often. My goal is that the student applies to schools that they will be happy at. Not too many students want to go to a "backup school," and if they have that perception, it's like they've already failed. So I counsel parents and students around that—let's get as good a picture as possible of your student and let's research schools that will fit her or him and then apply that way. The "reach" idea might apply to someone who's finally turning themselves on academically in their junior year, but I hate to see students in the third quarter of [their high school] class applying to schools where they're going to be in the bottom 10th. Bottom line is the more research a student does about herself and the types of schools that are out there, the more valuable each application is.
How do I keep my student motivated? On task and on time?
This is hard for many parents. By and large, students tend to want to do things at the last minute. I think it's fine to set up the high school counselor as the bad cop, with deadlines and paperwork, but that is only appropriate if the parent can work that out with the counselor. Senior year is so stressful, and everybody is on edge about the student making it to college that you don't need one more issue of deadlines getting in the way. Keeping your relationship supportive but matter of fact helps students gain a sense of responsibility and completion of the process, and in turn the parents feel good. It's a good way to help students practice being on their own.
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