Secrets of the Restaurant Critics
The professionals who eat for a living reveal the tricks of their trade
Americans now spend about $336 billion each year--nearly half of their food dollars--away from home. U.S. News's Linda Kulman spoke with Andrew Dornenburg and Karen Page, authors of Dining Out: Secrets from America's Leading Critics, Chefs, and Restaurateurs (John Wiley & Sons, $29.95) to get the latest dish on restaurants.
What tricks do critics use to tell how good a kitchen is? The idea is to test a restaurant based on its getting a relatively simple item right. Critics have litmus tests for different types of restaurants. For example, French bistros are known by their breads and vinaigrette. Critics are looking for a good-quality olive oil and vinegar, freshness, and a pleasing ratio of oil to vinegar. The salad should include fresh seasonal greens that aren't wilted or yellowed and are properly cleaned. If they can't even clean their salad greens, how can you expect them to make a great sauce, right? Quality and freshness are key criteria for bread, too.
What clues help critics decide if a place is worth trying, especially if it's a hole in the wall or it serves unfamiliar ethnic food? One critic says he walks in and asks himself, "Are the diners smiling? Do they look happy?" A restaurant should also smell appetizing. If something smells off, we don't stay--whether it's bug spray or Windex used to clean table tops.
How do you know whether you can trust your server's tastes? You shouldn't necessarily trust him unless you know him. But you can read a waitperson's advice the same way you can read a restaurant. "The lamb stew is very popular" is a lot different from "My absolute favorite thing on the entire menu is the lamb stew, and everyone I've ever recommended it to has thanked me for suggesting it to them!"
Will waiters treat you as a penny pincher if you order two appetizers and skip the entree? Or share an entree with a friend? There's less distinction between appetizers and entrees these days. Some restaurants don't even write the word entree on the menu. They say "small plates" and "large plates." When we split an entree, often a kitchen will divide it between two plates without our even asking. Still, we're taking up a table and waitress, so we tip the amount we would if we'd eaten a full meal.
Are "specials" really special, or is the kitchen just trying to offload them? Specials often take advantage of ingredients that are in season. When food is on its last legs but still very edible--three-day-old salmon that still smells fine--it's frequently served to staff, but it's not pushed on customers.
How do you complain without embarrassing yourself? What should you expect to happen once you speak up? First, tell your server that there's a problem, and describe it factually, like, "I just found this piece of plastic in my pasta" or "My steak is medium well when I ordered it medium rare." It's reasonable to give the restaurant a chance to replace overcooked meat or to reseason a dish. If there's a foreign object in the food, it's OK to ask to have it removed from the bill--though it's hard to make a case if you're finishing your last bite. If you don't get the situation resolved, ask to speak with the manager or owner. If it still isn't to your satisfaction, you can follow up with a letter of complaint to the restaurant and/or the local restaurant critic.
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