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Neil Strauss could rub elbows with rock stars, but he couldn't talk to women. So when the former New York Times reporter and ghost writer (he penned Jenna Jameson's How to Make Love Like a Pornstar, among other celeb titles) heard about a document detailing the secrets to getting girls, he decided to delve into the underworld of men obsessed with seduction and make himself a stud. The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists is part memoir, part how-to guide–with tips on what to wear as a conversation starter, what to use as an opener ("If I wasn't gay, you'd be so mine," apparently works because she'll figure out you're straight after you get her talking), and how to ignore the woman you're interested in just enough.
My friend tries these techniques and they aren't working. What's he doing wrong?
As soon as I see guys out, I can tell who's going to succeed and who's going to fail. You have to have the right energy. People think it's just the magic lines, but you have to fix yourself first. Even though I'm out of [the game scene], I really care about these guys. I think learning this makes sense for a certain kind of person who needs to become more confident.
Do the pickup artists really become better people though?
I see people come into it and really blossom; they become charming and cool. Some people get really lost and try to be other people though. They start out as nice guys and end up looking like creeps in feather boas.
A lot of the techniques are memorized opening lines or tricks. Doesn't that keep guys from revealing their personalities?
Most courtship rituals are a game. You don't normally play guitar outside of someone's window or set up romantic dinners. That's romance.
Can women use these tricks on men?
They totally work. If you're the woman whose friends get all of the attention [from guys], try a personality test or a psychic reading and capture the attention. I would be out and think I was attracted to one woman in a group and then I would realize that one was really funny. So women can demonstrate value.
Why do men need this book?
Women have the whole culture of Sex and the City and Cosmo to learn this stuff. For men, it's totally underground. This is leveling the playing field. These guys who weren't popular in high school can learn to be popular.
Is this like a magician thing? Are the other pickup artists going to get mad at you for revealing their secrets?
No, for two reasons. A, half of the women would say that won't work on me, and half of the men will say there's no way this could work. And also, we can't help what attracts us. It's not specific. I've traveled all over the world and these methods are effective.
So there's no extra stuff you're not telling us about?
When I wrote my book with Motley Crue, I had one ground rule. You can't hold back anything. Readers can tell. So, no. I put it all out there.
Do these pickup artists like women or the idea of women?
Every guy goes out for a different reason. Some want to hook up, some want a girlfriend, some want to just lose their virginity. There were some guys who wanted the power, not from women, but from men who would see them as successful with women. It's complicated.
How many men out there are part of this organized community?
I would say there are thousands of active guys. There are hundreds of thousands involved peripherally. And if you include everyone on E-mail lists and everything, over a million. It's just not talked about because it's embarrassing. It's not cool to not know how to talk to women.
Now that you're promoting your book, do you feel a need to show everyone that you still have it by hitting on lots of women?
Not at all. My girlfriend just moved in a couple of weeks ago and we've been dating for over a year. There's no way I'd have had the confidence to be with someone like her before getting involved with this. I would have always lacked confidence and gone through life hunched over and staring at the ground like the characters in books I read. I'm short, I'm scrawny. I used to think about having plastic surgery.
But didn't it help that you were a big-shot reporter who knew all of these musicians?
I can honestly say it had zero effect because I was a big-shot reporter for six years before any of this started. I could tell people I'm a ghost writer and reporter and that just doesn't ring any bells. There's one rock star, I can't tell you his name, but he's the singer, the guy in front of 50,000 people and he contacted me privately [to teach him]. You think these guys have it all, but he called me from the bathroom on dates asking for advice.
What will women get out of reading this book?
It'll confirm their worst fears, but it'll also show them that men are more scared and vulnerable than they think. Most women imagine guys as these players and assholes, but it's not true. It's fascinating to me what goes on in men's minds. Most would rather cut off a finger than be rejected sexually by a woman. –Vicky Hallett