To Protect the Innocent
Learning to keep sexual predators at bay
Few fears are greater or more widely shared than the terrifying proposition that one's children will be tricked by a stranger or lured away by someone they trust--and sexually molested. A February Gallup Poll showed that almost 66 percent of adults surveyed said they were "very concerned" about the possibility of sexual molestation of children in their community. In reaction to a recent series of sexual crimes against children, lawmakers have been scrambling to increase penalties and shore up the sex offender registry system. Among the offenses (all, coincidentally, in Florida): the abduction of an 8-year-old girl, who was sexually assaulted, dropped in a recycling bin, and pinned down with chunks of concrete, allegedly by a 17-year-old boy; the murder of 13-year-old Sarah Lunde by a registered sex offender who had once dated her mother; the murder of 9-year-old Jessica Lunsford, abducted by a registered sex offender who had failed to give the police a current address; and the kidnapping of a 17-year-old girl by a man she met on the Internet. Ongoing news stories, including reports of court testimony alleging sexual molestation of children by pop star Michael Jackson and continued discussion of the long-hidden child sexual abuse by Roman Catholic priests, have some parents fearing that in their own neighborhood, a child molester lurks.
And he very well might. More than 500,000 registered sex offenders live in the United States. Most are male. Many have been convicted of molesting one or more children, completed their sentences, and re-entered society. In checking out neighborhoods in or near big cities, a state registry search often turns up a dozen in a single ZIP code. But suburbs and rural areas have their share, too. Overall, the nonprofit National Center for Missing and Exploited Children estimates that 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 10 boys will be sexually exploited before they reach adulthood.
Unless the state is one in which neighbors are notified by E-mail, a flier, or a notice in the newspaper or in person by a police officer, online registries are one of the few ways to tell if the new neighbor has a history. The registries--which were launched in 1994, after 7-year-old Megan Kanka of Hamilton Township, N.J., was killed by a neighbor who had two previous convictions for sexual assaults on children--post names and, usually, pictures of paroled sex offenders. "There isn't a profile of a typical sex offender," says Scott Matson, research associate for the Center for Sex Offender Management. "They come in all shapes and sizes--they can be a wealthy neighbor; they can be a professional; they can be unemployed and homeless." Education is not a defining indicator--17 percent of prisoners who committed crimes against children never went further than eighth grade, while 18 percent went to college. Scrolling through registries, it appears that less-affluent neighborhoods have more offenders, but they also turned up on New York's Central Park West and in other high-end ZIP codes. Ninety-one percent are heterosexual. Anecdotal evidence aside, most abusers are not strangers. According to a 1998 study, 60 percent of boys and 80 percent of girls who are sexually victimized are abused by someone they know, whether a friendly neighbor or a doting uncle.
Since every state and the District of Columbia run their registries by their own rules, many offenders slip through cracks in the bureaucracy. "The tremendous lack of uniformity means you will be able to protect your children better in one state than another," says Laura Ahearn, executive director of Parents for Megan's Law. Some states assign a risk rate to offenders and don't include in their registry the ones who are considered low risk, which means, says Ahearn, "you could live right next to a predator and have no way of finding out."
Her organization gives failing grades to the registries in 22 states, including California, where 102,616 registered sexual offenders reside. Among the problems cited: not requiring neighbors to be notified when a sexual offender is moving in and not registering every offender. Perhaps the biggest loophole is that "we're counting on convicted sex offenders to do the right thing and to register," says Nancy McBride, national safety director for the missing and exploited children's center. Many don't. Indeed, an estimated 100,000 sex offenders are currently unaccounted for. The Department of Justice recently announced plans to link existing state registries to a national site, but child advocates say more is necessary, including better communication among law enforcement, courts, and probation authorities.
Protective measures. What's a parent to do? You can start by finding your state registry on the Internet. Try typing the state name and the words sex offender registry into a search engine. (South Dakota and Oregon are not yet fully online, however.) Then, "check out all the adults who have access to your children," says McBride. This includes the people parents and their children are most likely to trust and admire: the volunteer coach, the children's choir leader, scoutmasters, baby sitters, and parents of the child's friends. Knowing that some pedophiles target single moms with children, parents should screen prospective dates before bringing them home to meet the kids.
Should you learn that a registered offender has moved into your community, "be watchful but not intrusive," says Kathryn Brohl, author of When Your Child Has Been Molested. "Remember that these people are very often continuing in therapy while on parole. They have very often paid their dues to society."
"Showing the picture to your child is appropriate," says Brohl. "Inform our children without traumatizing our children. We don't want to tell the child what that person did." Instead, she suggests, you can say something like "There are people we need to be cautious of." Parents should arm their offspring with information. "Talk about good touches and bad touches," Brohl says. "With children under 8, it has to be repeated about every six months." And, she adds, make it comfortable for children to talk--and when they do, take them seriously, even if the complaint is vague or about a family member ("I don't like the way Uncle Bob hugs me"). As they get older, teach them that abusers' methods tend to follow a pattern. "They are very seductive," says Brohl. "It's a progressive thing. Over time, they get friendly. Kids all have problems, and they listen. These guys--or women--are accessible."
And it bears repeating: While the Internet is by now an integral part of your teen's life, it remains a threat to unsuspecting kids. By the teen years, most parents know they should meet their kids' friends and the friends' parents. But "you have got to supervise them in the virtual world, too," says McBride. Many adolescents have websites, complete with photos, the name of their schools, the areas in which they live, and sometimes their addresses. Web space is available to anyone who wants to sign on--no proof of identity required. And despite their digital sophistication, too many kids don't realize that while most cyberfriends are likely to be who they say they are, some are adults posing as peers. "Teenagers do not understand that it's like they were running up and down the interstate putting up fliers about themselves, " McBride says. "They do not understand that [people] could track somebody that way." (Privacy debate aside, parents can buy software that tracks all activity on their home computer.) Her advice: "Ask your child what they're doing online. Let them know that somebody you meet online is not your friend." And make it clear to your children that if they come to you with a suspicion about a Web acquaintance, they will not be punished. Teens "fear that parents are going to pull the plug," she says. "It's better to deal with the problem than forbid the child."
Digital Defenses
There are now several online resources that offer help to parents:
parentsformeganslaw.com A clearinghouse of information about child sexual abuse; it also links to--and rates--all state registries.
prevent-abuse-now.com Offers statistics; tracks laws and media reports.
stopitnow.com A nonprofit foundation that offers resources and information about child sex abuse.
csom.org The website of the Department of Justice Center for Sex Offender Management.
This story appears in the June 13, 2005 print edition of U.S. News & World Report.