Bloody Marriage
Throughout the ages, the royals got hitched for duty (and money), not love
As royal scandals go, the tale of King George IV of England and Princess Caroline of Brunswick is a shocker even by modern tabloid standards. In 1795, the then Prince of Wales--a promiscuous, hard-drinking dandy with a gambling problem--agreed to wed his German cousin so that Parliament would pay off his debts. However, in addition to the fact that the 32-year-old "Prinny" was already secretly and illegally married to an older Catholic named Maria Fitzherbert, he and the short, stocky Caroline (who apparently did not wash herself or her undergarments very often) disliked each other at once. "Harris, I am not well; pray get me a glass of brandy," George instructed his valet after first meeting his bride-to-be. Three days and innumerable drinks later, he hiccupped his way through their wedding ceremony, only to spend the honeymoon night "under the grate where he fell and where I left him," according to his new wife.
While the popular fantasy of the fairy-tale royal wedding persists to this day, with its visions of horse-drawn carriages, sparkling tiaras, and handsome princes, the reality is that many such unions were far less romantic. "Traditionally, British monarchs were expected to marry not for love but to ensure the purity of the dynasty--to make sure the royal bloodline continued and to make suitable alliances with other royal families," says Anna Clark, a professor of history at the University of Minnesota and editor of the Journal of British Studies, who notes that a noble spouse always came with additional territories, a dowry that replenished the royal coffers, a promise to keep the peace, or some other political gain.
Outside activities. One result of the custom of marrying for duty over love was a system replete with royal mistresses, from Charles II's plucky favorite, Nell Gwynn, to Edward VII's longtime lover, Alice Keppel, and her great-granddaughter Camilla Parker Bowles, as well as numerous illegitimate children. "It's the way it's always been, and until very recently indeed, nobody raised an eyebrow for even a minute," says Harry Gelber, a visiting scholar at the Minda de Gunzburg Center for European Studies at Harvard University. In fact, when Edward VII lay dying, his wife, Queen Alexandra, summoned Keppel to his bedside so she could see him one last time.
The king of kings, when it came to marital dilemmas, was surely Henry VIII, who famously went through half a dozen wives in his quest to produce a male heir, constantly manipulating the laws of church and state to suit his personal needs. First, the newly crowned 18-year-old monarch wed his dead brother's wife, Catherine of Aragon, in 1509, in order to maintain close diplomatic ties with Spain; but after 20 years, when her looks began to fade (without a son to show for it), Henry moved on to his mistress Anne Boleyn--even though he had to break with Rome and form the Church of England in order to have his first marriage annulled. Boleyn was later convicted of treason and beheaded; the king betrothed himself to Jane Seymour that very night and married her 10 days later, though she died shortly after the birth of Edward VI (who would later be crowned at age 9 and was dead by 16). He next chose Anne of Cleves from a selection of Hans Holbein portraits, although he was less than impressed with her in person, declaring on the morning of their nuptials, "If it were not to satisfy the world and my Realm, I would not do that I must do this day for none earthly thing," and failing to ever consummate the union. Wife No. 5, Catherine Howard, was also beheaded on charges of promiscuity and infidelity, and the twice-widowed Katherine Parr barely escaped the Tower herself after vehemently arguing for the Protestant cause. Still, she managed to outlive her now obese, surly, and fickle husband and marry again.
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