The Rise of the Gay Family
More and more American children are growing up with same-sex parents
Gay-rights advocates argue that it's often children who end up suffering from laws restricting gay parenting--and same-sex marriage. If a parent without a legal relationship with his or her partner's child dies, a 10-year-old child whose nonlegal parent was earning $60,000 at the time of death, for example, would forgo nearly $140,000 in Social Security survivor benefits paid to children of married couples, according to the Urban Institute and the Human Rights Campaign. That's on top of the more than $100,000 in Social Security paid to a widow--but not a gay partner--whose spouse earned $60,000. And without laws recognizing them as legitimate parents, nonlegal parents are unlikely to be required to pay child support if they leave their partner.
Recently, some states have further restricted adoption. Earlier this year, a federal appeals court upheld Florida's ban on homosexuals' adopting children, the only one of its kind in the nation. Arkansas now bans gay foster parenting, Mississippi bans same-sex couples from adopting, and Utah bans adoptions by all unmarried couples. "State legislatures that opposed gay marriage are going to push to replicate what Florida has done," says lawyer John Mayoue, author of Balancing Competing Interests in Family Law. "We'll see more of this as part of the backlash against gay marriage."
Even so, more gay couples--especially male couples--are adopting than ever before. A study last year found that 60 percent of adoption agencies accept applications from homosexuals, up from just a few a decade ago. The 2000 census showed that 26 percent of gay male couples with children designate a stay- at-home parent, compared with 25 percent of straight parents. "When you have children, whether you're gay or straight, you spend lots of time wondering how good a job you're doing for your kids; you lose sleep over it," says Mark Brown, 49, whose partner stays home with their two young adopted kids. "It doesn't leave much time to worry about how we're being perceived by straight society."
GAY PARENTS AND THE LAW
Over the past two decades, some states have granted second-parent adoption rights--which allow the partner of a child's biological or adoptive parent to adopt a child without the first parent losing his or her rights--to gay couples. Others states, meanwhile, have recently passed laws restricting adoption for gay couples.
Ala. State permits second-parent adoptions only in certain counties (by lower-court ruling).
Alaska State permits second-parent adoptions only in certain counties (by lower-court ruling).
Ariz. States do not grant second-parent adoptions or law is unclear.
Ark. State prohibits gay men and lesbians from being foster parents.
Calif. State permits second-parent adoptions (by law or high level court ruling).
Colo. States do not grant second-parent adoptions or law is unclear.
Conn. State permits second-parent adoptions (by law or high level court ruling).
Del. State permits second-parent adoptions only in certain counties (by lower-court ruling).
D.C. States do not grant second-parent adoptions or law is unclear.
Fla. State prohibits adoption by gay individuals or couples.
Ga. States do not grant second-parent adoptions or law is unclear.
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