Happiness Explained
New science shows how to inject real joy into your life
One of the worst enemies of positive emotions is feeling threatened, says Fredrickson. A safe environment is key. Rebecca Shaw found that happiness just needed a chance to flourish. "The day I met my husband was the day my boyfriend broke up with me, and I was pregnant," says the 32-year-old of Ridge, Md. Miserable, lonely, and despairing, she had just moved back in with her parents to get her bearings. Then she ran into an old friend, Ray Shaw. As they spent time together in the following weeks, happiness "stole up" on her. "Suddenly I was just smiling and didn't even realize it--it was just such a subtle turn," she says. Now, four years after their marriage, the defense contractor, inventor, and stay-at-home mom doubts she could be happier. "My husband didn't replace any of the things that were missing," she says. "He just kind of gave me the sanctuary to go and find them myself."
Part of seeking positive emotions is being open to them in everyday life. Mindfully approaching sources of good feelings can be more lasting than seeking instant gratification. Distinctions can disappear. "Overeating ice cream and shopping get lumped in with spending time with your family or pursuing an interesting activity," says Fredrickson. People may choose shortcuts with little meaning over activities with positive consequences. A more nuanced appreciation of good feelings--"experiential wisdom," Fredrickson calls it--may help people benefit more from positive emotions. So think: Is ice cream really going to make me feel better for longer than the time it takes to eat it?
Some emotions simply aren't that hard to feel, if you take the time. Take gratitude. Robert Emmons of the University of California-Davis found that people who wrote down five things for which they were grateful in weekly or daily journals were not only more joyful; they were healthier, less stressed, more optimistic, and more likely to help others. You don't have to write things down to be grateful for them, of course, though it helps to make them concrete. During difficult times, "I just tend to focus on the things I'm grateful for and the parts of life that are good," says Sean David Griffiths, 38, a project officer at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta. And gratitude could help ward off mindless materialism, says Emmons. "When you don't appreciate stuff is when you get rid of it and get something else."
Researchers are also finding more positive emotions than once were thought to exist. Anyone who has witnessed a touching good deed will recognize the heartwarming tingling in the chest that follows. Psychologist Jonathan Haidt of the University of Virginia dubbed this uplifting emotion "elevation," and finds that it makes people want to be kind. Such emotions break down mental barriers and help people see the world in new ways. Even mild feelings of elevation can change minds. Haidt found that students who watched a documentary about Mother Teresa were more interested in activities like volunteer work. (In contrast, the subjects who watched clips of America's Funniest Home Videos were interested in self-focused activities like watching TV and eating.)
advertisement
