True or False:

1. In conversation, your utterances frequently last longer than a minute. (This is the most important indicator that you talk too much.)

2. You think of yourself as a talker rather than a listener.

3. People consider you "chatty."

4. In conversations, you're likely to wander off on tangents.

5. At work, you spend a lot of time talking about stuff that's unrelated to work.

6. You're detail-oriented. People who are detail-oriented often include material that seems important to them but bores the pants off everybody else.

7. You are able to come up with many ideas on the fly–and you want to express them all in one profound oration.

8. People at their work spaces tend to look away from you when you walk by. (They're afraid you'll come over and bend their ear for 10 minutes.)

9. The people who know you best have suggested that you can be oblivious, self-absorbed, narcissistic, selfish, or egocentric.

10. Your listeners give you signals indicating they wish you'd stop talking. Such as:

• eyes wandering much of the time (or the opposite–frozen, staring at you)
• finger or toe tapping
• interrupting you frequently
• body language that suggests the person is trying to get away from you
• often saying "uh huh" as if urging you to get on with it

Remember, anyone who cares about other people must make them part of the conversation. Here are some suggestions:

• Follow the "Traffic Light" rule of thumb: When you start talking, the light is green for the first 20 seconds; your listener is probably paying attention. During the second 20 seconds, your light is yellow; your listener may be starting to wish you'd finish. After the 40-second mark, the light is red. Time to shut up! Yes, there are rare times you should "run a red light"–when it's clear that your listener is fully engaged in your missive, for instance. But usually, after 40 seconds, it's time for a break. So in normal conversation, look for a place to stop after you've been talking for about 20 seconds. If your listener wants more, he or she can ask a question. She rarely will. Try it and see.
• If you're saying something that requires more than 40 seconds, break it up into segments, and ask your listener something like, "What do you think of that?" or "Am I being clear? Really?" The "really" lets the listener know that you truly want that question or comment.
• As you're talking, keep asking yourself, "Is this boring?"
• Be alert to your listener's nonverbal cues, especially as you gab past the 20-second mark. Does your listener seem fully engaged?

Lest I be accused of not practicing what I preach, I'm going to stop this column right here. Anyone wish I prattled on?