Gift shops. I just feel sorry for the people trapped in those tiny blizzards they have. Do you know what I mean? There they are minding their business under the Eiffel Tower and once again a blizzard hits, simultaneously with an earthquake. I feel so sorry for those people.

That such a spectacle is sold for amusement rather than treated as a natural disaster is more than I can bear. Not only do I not own any, but I have returned some given to me, including one that had black snow in it and was advertised as a "swarm of locusts" snow globe.

White wine in a box. Anyone who needs an explanation of its dangers should not be concerned with it in the first place.

How to counteract the summer doldrums: My plan is to read War and Peace. To my great shame I've never read War and Peace, but I find summertime is perfect for something long, gloomy, and Russian. Reading War and Peace is something of a vacation in that I get to participate in the suffering of others rather than chronicling such suffering myself. I recommend it to my readers, first of all because it's apparently a classic. And second of all, it's long and they'll become so involved and the Snicket book will go under like a swimmer exposed to jellyfish. Or like a man standing in London and ... Oh no! There's snow, snow is falling and everything is shaking, help, help ...

*As told to Marc Silver