Career Center: Slacker careers
A recent college graduate came to me for career counseling, to figure out what line of work to pursue. I suggested a number of careers—all of which she yes-butted as too difficult or too much work. Finally, I asked her whether she'd like a job as a flower watcher: a person who stares at flowers all day to make sure they're all right. Not realizing I was joking, she lit up.
That reminded me that not everyone is interested in a challenging career. Some would like nothing better than Lil' Abner's profession: mattress tester. Alas, mattresses are tested by machine these days, but here's a list of real-life slacker careers that can actually offer a decent living:
Academic Advisor. Helping college students plan which courses to take isn't exactly taxing. Overtime is rarely required and colleges are only in session 35 weeks out of the year, with plenty of holidays in between. Bonus: Your job is on a college campus, one of the most pleasant work environments.
More info: Visit the National Academic Advisors Association site: www.nacada.ksu.edu
Perfumer. Employers from Procter and Gamble to Coca Cola, plus many small companies, require perfumers to know some chemistry but admit that much of the job is simply trial and error: trying out different combinations of fragrance to create the most pleasing massage oil, soda, perfume, etc.
More info: Visit the American Society of Perfumers site: www.perfumers.org.
Winemaker. Test the grapes in the vineyard. Ferment. Blend. Let the wine sit a spell in some oak or steel. Taste again. Not a bad life.
More info: Read Home Winemaking, Step-by-Step by Jon Iverson.
Safety Inspector. It's much easier to tell people what's wrong than to make sure something's right. I think of food inspectors who swoop into restaurants and point, "That's not clean enough." Easy for him to say.
More info: Read the Occupational Outlook Handbook profile of inspector careers: www.bls.gov.
Matchmaker. "Well, Mary, let me ask you a few questions about yourself and your desired mate...OK, I think I'll set you up with John, Tim, and Richard. Oh, that will be $3,000."
More info: Read Matchbook : The Diary of a Modern-Day Matchmaker by Samantha Daniels.
Bureaucrat. Of course, many government employees work hard, but it's also possible to find a job in government in which laziness is tolerated.
More info: Visit www.resume-place.com, a leading advice site on federal employment.
Driver. Sit down, turn the key, drive, maintain attention, turn on the radio when bored, turn off the key. Day is done.
More info: The Occupational Outlook Handbook profiles of driving careers: www.bls.gov
Toll Collector. Self-explanatory.
More info: Read Toll Collector by Jack Rudman.
Piano tuner. You don't even have to have a good ear. A tuning machine makes it easy. Plus you're usually working in a pleasant environment such as home, school, or concert hall, without time pressure. Cush.
More info: Play around at the Piano Technician's Guild site: www.ptg.org.
Food Taster. Coffee might cause too much of a buzz, but ice cream makers employ testers too. Not bad. Chocolate taster, even better.
More info: www.foxnews.com.
Hard-core slackers might still find these jobs too taxing. Here are a few truly low-energy jobs (though it might help if you can mooch additional money off parents or a spouse):
Self-Serve Gas Station Attendant. Mainly, you sit there and take money. Your greatest challenge may be to try to get the license plate of thieves who drive away without paying.
More info: www.afb.org
Order Taker. When I call to place an order at places like Park Seed, Lands End, or Jet Blue, the order takers tell me they really like their jobs and say it's usually easy and relaxing. I mean, it can't be too taxing to say, "What's your next item number?" Some, like many reservations agents at Jet Blue, even work from home.
More info: Go to www.simplyhired.com or indeed.com and search on "order taker" or "customer service."
Mystery Shopper. You buy stuff and fill out a checklist on how nicely you were treated. Can you handle it?
More info: jobsearch.about.com
Personal Shopper. You traipse malls to buy things with other people's money.
More info: www.startupjournal.com.
Store Security Guard. Your job is to stand there. I know, there's always the chance of danger, but 99 percent of the time it's uneventful. Occasionally you might have to walk a shoplifter into the back room.
More info: Read the security guard profile in the Occupational Outlook Handbook: www.bls.gov.
House Sitter. Water the plants, feed the cat, keep the lights on so the robbers think someone's home–all usually in a nice house in a nice neighborhood.
More info: Search www.indeed.com and www.simplyhired.com for house sitter jobs.
Flower Arranger. "I think I'll put that lily in there. OK, now a rose. Here, a bit of fern." Life doesn't get much softer than this.
More info: www.save-on-crafts.com/flowartec.html.
Sperm Donor. If you've got good genes and you're healthy, you can get paid to, well, contribute your seed. Now that's a slacker job.
More info: www.cryobankdonors.com.