Career Center: Slacker careers
A recent college graduate came to me for career counseling, to figure out what line of work to pursue. I suggested a number of careers—all of which she yes-butted as too difficult or too much work. Finally, I asked her whether she'd like a job as a flower watcher: a person who stares at flowers all day to make sure they're all right. Not realizing I was joking, she lit up.
That reminded me that not everyone is interested in a challenging career. Some would like nothing better than Lil' Abner's profession: mattress tester. Alas, mattresses are tested by machine these days, but here's a list of real-life slacker careers that can actually offer a decent living:
Academic Advisor. Helping college students plan which courses to take isn't exactly taxing. Overtime is rarely required and colleges are only in session 35 weeks out of the year, with plenty of holidays in between. Bonus: Your job is on a college campus, one of the most pleasant work environments.
More info: Visit the National Academic Advisors Association site: www.nacada.ksu.edu
Perfumer. Employers from Procter and Gamble to Coca Cola, plus many small companies, require perfumers to know some chemistry but admit that much of the job is simply trial and error: trying out different combinations of fragrance to create the most pleasing massage oil, soda, perfume, etc.
More info: Visit the American Society of Perfumers site: www.perfumers.org.
Winemaker. Test the grapes in the vineyard. Ferment. Blend. Let the wine sit a spell in some oak or steel. Taste again. Not a bad life.
More info: Read Home Winemaking, Step-by-Step by Jon Iverson.
Safety Inspector. It's much easier to tell people what's wrong than to make sure something's right. I think of food inspectors who swoop into restaurants and point, "That's not clean enough." Easy for him to say.
More info: Read the Occupational Outlook Handbook profile of inspector careers: www.bls.gov.
Matchmaker. "Well, Mary, let me ask you a few questions about yourself and your desired mate...OK, I think I'll set you up with John, Tim, and Richard. Oh, that will be $3,000."
More info: Read Matchbook : The Diary of a Modern-Day Matchmaker by Samantha Daniels.
Bureaucrat. Of course, many government employees work hard, but it's also possible to find a job in government in which laziness is tolerated.
More info: Visit www.resume-place.com, a leading advice site on federal employment.
Driver. Sit down, turn the key, drive, maintain attention, turn on the radio when bored, turn off the key. Day is done.
More info: The Occupational Outlook Handbook profiles of driving careers: www.bls.gov
Toll Collector. Self-explanatory.
More info: Read Toll Collector by Jack Rudman.
Piano tuner. You don't even have to have a good ear. A tuning machine makes it easy. Plus you're usually working in a pleasant environment such as home, school, or concert hall, without time pressure. Cush.
More info: Play around at the Piano Technician's Guild site: www.ptg.org.
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