In Inheritance, the Meek May Not Get Much After All
"Once the parents are gone, some of those old sibling resentments resurface," says Jane Brooks, author of the book Midlife Orphan. She and her sister lost both their parents within 16 months. "There's always one sibling who feels 'Mom and Dad loved you more than they loved me.' This is the time it comes out." Adult children can also remind parents that if they don't face up to estate-planning duties, state laws--complete with the tax bite--will decide matters for them without family input.
That's exactly what 80-year-old Harriet Blackman of New York worried about when she realized she'd lost her will. She called her daughter Carol in a panic. Carol found an estate lawyer who redid the paperwork, calming Harriet's fears in the bargain. Some planners even urge their clients to enjoy the process, thinking of their willed items as gifts. "It's important to think about what individuals might like," says Kahn of San Francisco. "It doesn't have to be a big item. The person who receives it will be very touched that Grandma thought about her. People truly love to be thought of in this way."
WHERE TO LEARN MORE
Ask the experts. The National Association of Financial and Estate Planning (www.nafep.com) and American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys (www.estateplanforyou.com) offer information and free consultations online.
Powwow. Who Gets Grandma's Yellow Pie Plate? (University of Minnesota Extension Service, 800-876-8636). A video ($30) and workbook ($12.50) walk families through the divvying-up process.
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