The Kardashians have won. They've beaten me. I spent years ignoring them, only wondering occasionally why so many people were interested in their frivolous lives—why anyone cared what they wore, or what they fought about, or whom they married. Mostly, I could not understand why a television producer would pay them to show the public exactly how uninteresting and banal their lives were, let alone why anyone would watch their so-called "reality" show.
But I have to admit, they won my attention. And it's not because of their clothes or screaming matches or diet advice. It's because the absurdity of holding a televised, multimillion dollar wedding with corporate sponsors, and then announcing one's plans to divorce just 72 days of marriage.
Yes, Kim Kardashian—who is famous for … well, that's not clear, except that she does have a lovely figure and long hair—Kardashian managed to hang in on the marriage thing for just a little over two months before she and her new husband, Kris Humphries, decided to call it quits. Seventy-two days isn't even enough time to put the mix of pictures on the wall, let alone have a fight about whether the framed sports jersey stays or goes. It's barely enough time to recover from the honeymoon, never mind start arguing about how they never have sex anymore. Seventy-two days isn't enough time to even identify the other spouse's bad habits, let alone get irritated by them.
This is the new "reality" in America—where people are so busy living their lives in front of the camera, they forget to actually figure out whether that life is working for them. Kardashian, in fact, blamed the rigors of the reality show—a job that pays her, reportedly, $6 million a year—on her inability to stay in the marriage, saying:
I got caught up with the hoopla and the filming of the TV show that, when I probably should have ended my relationship, I didn't know how to and didn't want to disappoint a lot of people.
Whom is she disappointing? The fans who watched her "fairy-tale" wedding on TV, a spectacle that was truly embarrassing at a time when so many Americans are out of work and struggling to hang onto their homes? Kardashian denies that she profited in any way from her wedding. Let's hope that's the case. In the meantime, maybe she could get in touch with her soul by volunteering at a soup kitchen, veteran's hospital, or pediatric cancer ward. That would be a helpful "reality" for her.