In Defense of Spanking

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If I had spoken to a teacher like that, I would have been paddled too. Then I would have been whipped on my bare penis at home. Kids have no discipline these days.

Jerry of AL 5:26PM May 27, 2011

I know many people who were spanked....and all they do all the day long is thinking about themselves and noone but. Or they spend the whole day judging people who never spank their kids. Kids need spankings...they say. I am bored of hearing this all the day long...as if there is nothing else to live for and talk about, than how children and other people are behaving.

I also know many people who were never spanked...and they are the most good hearted people I know.

My conclusion is that no matter what parents do...kids will become their own people....They will make their own decisions....Whether their parents like it or not. Spanking or no spanking, kids will do what they choose. And there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. I made my peace with that fact. Will you?

john 12:09PM January 27, 2011

In what way was the mother not "mothering"?

You didn't report what the child's behavior was like at home.

It's just false to assert that a child acts the same way at school that he does when he's with his parents. Many children act out at school because they are bored, lonely, frustrated, or teased by classmates.

And if you think that saying that someone "sucks," should be punished with hitting someone, what about when a student calls a teacher a derogatory name. How do we respond to that? If he hits a teacher do we bring out the firing squad? Should you be punished for calling the child a "brat"? Or can only children receive punishment for being rude individuals? As adults, when someone tells them they "suck" should they then respond with violence? And your point about the fact that children choose this punishment is meaningless: this only means that they are more afraid of what their parents will do to them if they are suspended. This doesn't mean spanking works, it means that these children have no real respect for school policy--they only have fear of their parents.

Not only is this article completely oblivious to the problems children must encounter for them to act out, it's oblivious to the empirical evidence that shows spanking only causes children to act out MORE, causes them severe emotional problems, and even stunts their intellectual growth.

Furthermore, it's a completely different question as to whether spanking should be allowed by parents or allowed by schools. It's not as if parents give up rights over their child when that child enters public schools. If they do give up rights, then it might as well be a prison.

Maria of GA 8:43PM October 26, 2010

Just as an FYI - NO ONE but CPS had any sort of issue with my spanking him!!

My family has said that if he gets taken he is on his own they WILL NOT take him in.

They all say that he needs to learn how to control himself and that if he cant then maybe he is better off locked up somewhere.

His own mother wants nothing to do with him (my wife is the Step-Mother) The mother has not seen or talked to him in about 4 years now.

Robert of MN 12:35PM April 17, 2010

What you experienced was NOT what most parents do as far as CP - this was more of a sexual assault than anything else. Spanking was NOT the issue in your case - if it were not a paddle I am sure it would have been in some other form if you are conveying the actual truth in your story. I had a belt and a matchbox race track taken to me more than just a few times, but it was (cough - cough ...mmm) deserved. I learned from my mistakes and took care NOT to repeat what ever it was I did. I would have never in a million years ever thought to open my mouth to anyone at school or CPS.

Today kids are out of control and actually hitting their parents and telling their parents that if they spank them they will run to CPS!! (I know because I living that situation right now) My 15 year old is hitting my disabled wife and saying if we so much as restrain him from him hitting her he will tell CPS! I was charged with child abuse for spanking him THREE times on the buttocks with a belt - NOT leaving a mark at all!

I simply told CPS I did not agree with their decision and was NOT going to go along with it. IF they continue to want to pursue it then I will pack his bags and they can take him. I will NOT have an out of control teenager in my home telling me what I will and will not do.

If you want to know what he did to get the spanking - he went into my room took my laptop when he was told NOT to several times and I took it from him. He refused to give up the power cord that he was laying on - then he took it from out under him and thru it at the wall in an attempt to bust the window - JUST BARELY MISSING IT!! He did manage to bust a 3 inch hole clear thru the drywall then took his anger out on me - attacking me!

I turned him over and got him on the butt THREE times - not a harsh hour long beating or anything. Told him to think about what he did and told him he was now grounded.

There are police out there using TAZERS on teens for lesser offenses then what he did that day. The CPS worker also walked into my home (UNINVITED) just opened the door and walked in! I am now filing a 4th amendment violation lawsuit against her and DHS. That was a civil rights violation and she will NOT be able to claim immunity for that.

We have a jail full of teenagers and 20 somethings whose parents did NOT discipline them out of fear of being charged with abuse~! Are we going to keep that trend up!

We need to take our streets and our homes back! Stop this trend from getting worse.

I do NOT believe in hitting a child anywhere BUT the buttocks - but I definitely do not agree with a hands off approach to out of control teens. Do you believe for a second that the police would attempt to subdue a 15,16,17 or 18 year old by TALKING to them when they are showing signs of aggression toward them or someone else? Get real - read the papers watch the news - they are being tazered!

Robert of MI 12:31PM April 17, 2010

Oh my goodness! Those of you commenting about being spanked on the genitals WERE sexually abused!! That is totally different than a teacher/administrator paddling a student for misbehavior in class. The student leans onto a desk and they get 2 clean whacks. Remember 50 years ago when parents spanked their kids all the time and no one thought anything of it? Well I guarantee children were much better behaved and applied themselves more consistently as adults. Spanking does not cause mental/emotional trauma - physical/sexual abuse does. And "The Hitting Stops Here"'s reasoning that 'if a student can't spank a teacher then the teacher shouldn't be able to spank a student' is totally ludacris. Teachers are the adults, students are the children. Neither are the students allowed to decide on seating arrangements, assignment scores, etc. I believe the main point Mr. Dealey was trying to make is that the issue needs to be with parents disciplining their children from the beginning so that such behavior that warrants spankings never occurs in the first place. I am a school teacher and although I am not allowed to spank my eighth graders, I wish I could. No one has a clue what the job is like until they've spent time in the classroom. Why don't you opposers work a few days as a substitute teacher before giving your opinions? Many parents today choose to be their child's friend instead of guardian, or are so wrapped up in their own lives that they just aren't paying attention. When I was a student, most of the kids were good with a few exceptions in each class. Today it is the opposite; more students are discipline problems than not. My colleagues and I discuss this issue quite regularly. But parents, rather than parenting, try to get their children out of trouble at school, instead of allowing them to suffer the consequences of their actions. When I was a child, I knew that if I got in trouble at school I would also get in trouble when I got home, which is what kept me from getting in trouble.

J Perkin of OK 1:26PM March 25, 2010

I am not in favpr of any spankings. Unfortunately for many of us, our parents spanked us, I think, for some kind of sexulk gratiification. From the age of 4 or 5 till I was about 16, I was soanked by my parents and older sister. AT first, the spankings were on my bottom. After a while, if I was deemed to be a very bad girl, they would "spank" me on my genitals; that is they would spank my vulva. The pain was severe. There was never any physical injury, but the vulva and clitoris are sensitive tissue.

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AtherTon of OK 12:48PM April 22, 2009

It ceases to amaze me that people come up with humorous names to justify their behavior: wacks, smacks, pops, or spanks, they all mean the same thing, legalized assault and battery.

Now imagine the same behavior done to a non-consenting adult. It instantly ceases to be funny. The victim would call 911, the suspect would be arested and charged with assault with a deadly weapon or sexual battery and if convicted serve jail time.

Mr. Dealey, where is your merit. I would like to know. If you didn't know, your paddling does more harm than good according to Dr. Albert Bandura who conducted the Bobo doll experiment that states that children learn new behaviors through observation, also known as modeling or monkey see, monkey do learning. Think about what type of behavior is being modeled when a human being asks another to bend over to be allowed to be beaten on their buttocks. You can just imagine. Please be more educated on child development and psychology before you place something like this on the internet. I would like to question how much knowledge you have in this type of information. It's true, corporal punishment has zero merit whatsoever. Experts in child development, psychology, medicine and many others agree. Look at the studies conducted just in this one issue. I think you will change your mind. I would also erge you to read "Plain Talk about Spanking" and I think your mind would be changed.

Thank you,

Jestin Samson, student

The Hitting Stops Here! Board member

Jestin Samson of CA 10:06PM March 22, 2009

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Sam Dealey

Sam Dealey

Sam Dealey is a contributing editor at U.S. News & World Report and Reader's Digest. He has written for many publications, including Time, GQ, the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal.

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