Have you seen When Mitt Romney Came to Town, the 30 minute attack ad being distributed by a Super-PAC (or as they should more properly be termed, Hench-PAC) supporting Newt Gingrich? If you haven’t, you should—it will take its place alongside Lyndon Johnson’s “Daisy” commercial as being among the most devastating hit pieces of all time. But really, it could have been much worse. Herewith a collection of some of the material that ended up on the cutting room floor. Suggest your own in the comments section below or on Twitter with a #deletedbain hashtag.
* A gaunt, loin-clothed Mitt Romney is seen biting the head off a fish while singing nonsensical songs to himself. He refers to the presidency as “the precious,” and mutters angrily about “that fat, stupid, Gingriches.”
* Romney pressures his kids to name the next grandchild “Corporation”—just to prove a point.
* Bain systematically destroys companies with employees named Sarah Conner.
* Romney hunts blue collar workers and other "small varmints" for sport.
* A factory worker laid off by Bain painfully recounts how Romney would twirl the end of his mustache after tying laid off employees to the train tracks.
* Using money from foreign investors, Romney finances the Star Wars prequels
* In a speech rallying Bain corporate vultures, Romney wields a giant broadsword while declaring that the best thing in life is to “crush the middle class, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.”
* Romney leverages The Sopranos, forcing the series finale to be cut off 30 seconds early.
* As his coffee cup shatters on the floor, Newt Gingrich realizes too late that Romney was Keyser Soze the whole time.
* In a deleted climactic scene, Romney destroys five different companies while his godson is being baptized.
* Three words: Massachusetts chainsaw massacre.
What am I missing? Weigh in below or on Twitter with #deletedbain
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