By Robert Schlesinger, Thomas Jefferson Street blog
Judging by this letter to the editor in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, Satan really is not pleased with Pat Robertson's assertion that Haiti got devastated by an earthquake because of a deal the country made with the devil (h/t Swampland):
Dear Pat Robertson, I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll. You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract. Best, Satan
Apparently Satan's earthly spokesperson is named Lily Coyle and lives in Minneapolis.
- Check out this month's best political cartoons.
- Become a political insider: Subscribe to U.S. News Weekly, our digital magazine.
- Follow the Thomas Jefferson Street blog on Twitter.
Reader Comments Read all comments (112)
fifths videos of AL 9:26AM May 10, 2010
eap video of AL 9:00AM May 10, 2010
lashy video of AL 8:32AM May 10, 2010