Nothing Good Can Come of Formspring, Cyber Bullying's Newest Venue

May 6, 2010 RSS Feed Print
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By Mary Kate Cary, Thomas Jefferson Street blog

From the New York Times, an article on the newest innovation in cyber-bullying for teens: a website called Formspring.me, which allows users (meaning teens) to ask open-ended questions about themselves and “friends” can answer “honestly,” which really means “anonymously.” For someone my age, it would be the equivalent of asking, “Do these jeans make me look fat?” and having all my fellow moms, neighbors and carpool drivers answer anonymously. That’s a nightmare for everyone involved. Here’s what the Times is reporting:

Formspring.me, a relatively new social networking site, has become a magnet for comments, many of them nasty and sexual, among the Facebook generation.

While Formspring is still under the radar of many parents and guidance counselors, over the last two months it has become an obsession for thousands of teenagers nationwide, a place to trade comments and questions like: Are you still friends with julia? Why wasn’t sam invited to lauren’s party? You’re not as hot as u think u are. Do you wear a d cup? You talk too much. You look stupid when you laugh.

By setting up a free Formspring account and linking it to their Tumblr or Twitter or Facebook accounts, young people invite their hundreds of online friends to ask questions or post comments, without having to identify themselves.

In part, Formspring is just the latest place to hang out and exchange gossip, as teenagers have always done. But because of the anonymity, the banter is unvarnished.

“Unvarnished” is a polite way of saying “cruel.” Formspring sounds similar to the “honesty box” on Facebook, which has caused a lot of trouble among our teenage friends. I knew a woman once who used to preface terrible comments about people by saying first, “I’m sorry I just have to be honest here ...” No, you really don’t have to be “honest” if it means being hurtful or mean. Especially if you’re doing it anonymously.

Nothing good can come from a website like this one. About the best thing I can say for it is it provides parents with a teachable moment about empathy, kindness and the true nature of friendship.

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I have taken a stand and started a petition against formspring.me. I am trying to help to make sure no more harm comes out of this. The link is this if you want to help: http://www.change.org/petitions/formspringme-add-security-to-the-site-or-take-down-the-website

Isabel Calkins of NY 10:01AM December 05, 2011

im 14 years old and i hadan account i received over 30 anonymous people a DAY telling me to kill myself. i attempted to do so and was put in a hospital for a month. this site is just another way of letting cruel people talk to you. if youre smart you will keep your children away from this site! my name is trisha arelene on facebook if you think im lying. you can message me there and talk to me about it.

Trisha of NY 1:32AM May 08, 2011

Annoyed Onlooker and Another Annoyed Onlooker....

This is just another place for cowards to put hurtful comments and questions to people. If you want to be cruel, why don't you do it in person? Because you are not brave enough, that's why.

Its obvious to me that both of you are teenagers yourself, probalby the ones that put the mean comments out there. If you were ever the target of cyber bullying, you wouldn't be so quick to defend this site. There is no need for this type of site. Even very mature adults are offended and hurt by other people's cruel words, it has nothing to do with maturity... You comments just show how IMMATURE you both are.

Elizabeth of MI 8:09AM March 01, 2011

Mary Kate Cary

Mary Kate Cary

Mary Kate Cary is a former White House speechwriter for President George H.W. Bush. She currently writes speeches for political and business leaders.

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