Lil Wayne and Other Pop Stars Make Being a "Tween" Mother Tough in an iTunes Age

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Why is it that you're so unwilling to be a parent that you feel a need to blame entertainers for not parenting your children for you?

They are not there to be role models. That isn't their job. They're entertainers, and they're there to entertain. If Rihanna wants to talk about her difficulty in trying to free herself from an abusive relationship, who are you to tell her she should be more concerned about the "example" she's setting? You're just as sexist and vulgar as they are, by demeaning this woman to the status of raising someone else's kids for them, while her problems and struggles and art don't matter.

On the rest of them, do you honestly believe you can stop your kids from listening to this stuff? I'm here to tell you that you can't. In fact, the more you tell them not to, the more they'll want to do it. Their school probably even has a young smuggler who sells off this kind of music. Mine did, and so did one of my ex's. Kids are clever. And when you lie to them by trying to white-wash reality, they know.

You're doing your children a disservice. You are censoring their reality, and when they get into the real world, where everything isn't Stepford-happy-happy all the time, they will be totally unprepared. It's parents like you that raise the children college professors complain about, children that are ignorant and helpless.

Your children are not stupid, Miss Cary. Stop treating them that way. They can handle a little bit of grime. And you can talk about it together. You can tell them how sad this woman's struggle with abuse is, and how to avoid it. You can tell them that respectful, kind men don't call women "bitches and hoes."

And you can tell them that sometimes, it's just a beat.

Sincerely,

Cassie

Cassie of MN 5:44PM June 19, 2010

I can't read www.usnews.com inFirfox 7., I just thuoght I might tell you about it?

seo lace of AL 5:05PM May 02, 2010

This blog is named after the great Thomas Jefferson, yet you talk about censorship in such a conservative way...I wish I could say it's interesting... shame.

John Copernic of OH 7:18AM March 09, 2010

we need more news about singres/actors!

brandi of TN 11:03AM February 01, 2010

I somehow stumbled across this article, and was completely stunned by what I read. I thought my mother was overly strict because she didn't let me listen to certain music or watch R-rated movies when I was a young child, but wow, have you taken it to another level. Mary Kate Cary, I respect your attempts to teach your children good morals. However, I find the methods you have described in this article to be extremely unreasonable and close-minded. How long do you intend to shelter your children from any outside influence that you deem offensive? Instead of taking insulting shots at you, I think a more effective way to get a message across is to ask you these questions: Who decides what is wrong, what words are unacceptable, and what instills bad morals? If you believe it is you, then what will your children do when they are old enough to make their own decisions? Do you honestly think they will follow all your lessons to the letter when they are in college and beyond? What will happen when they are exposed to things that you would find much more deplorable than suggestive or misogynistic rap lyrics? I know an opinion columnist is supposed to bak up their stance until the end of time, but perhaps look at things from a different perspective, and get down off your high horse.

R.L. Schaefer, I do not know you, but your posts give the impression that you are shortsighted, discriminatory, and much less intelligent than you would like to believe. Was that your intention?

Laura of CA, I feel sad for your children. You really do not allow your 19-year-old to watch MTV? The type of person who will bring the lyrics of "My Humps" to the principal just because it was played at a HIGH SCHOOl football game is someone who needs to open her eyes beyond the idealistic fantasy world she has attempted to create in her home. The fact that you mentioned this example, and believe that the principal agreeing with you somehow proves your point, shows how misguided and foolish you are. The world might be better if you directed your crusader efforts at an issue that is actually meaningful.

Matt R of IL 1:49AM June 10, 2009

ur are a frickin idiot seriously wow

hayden klespitz of IL 4:40PM May 02, 2009

lil wayne is d best rapper

cook of IL 8:24AM April 24, 2009

I am the mother of a 19-year-old daughter and an 11-year-old daughter, so I completely sympathize with your predicament.

Kids are exposed to alot of bad influences, and as parents we must limit their exposure to these. I would regularly check my older daughter's playlist on iTunes and delete any I knew to be offensive. We would later discuss financially contributing to, and listening to, "artists" who do not entertain but use music (and I use that word liberally) to advance agendas. Much eye-rolling would ensue, but I told C that certain songs were not allowed in our home, and she would either have to respect that or delete her iTunes account and turn over her iPod.

Same goes for MTV. Simply not allowed in our home. After a while, kids begin to respect the fact that you feel very strongly about certain things, and while they make a lot of noise, I believe ultimately they respect you as a parent more than their goofy bff this week.

September of 2007, while attending the high school football game, the song "My Humps" by the Black-Eyed Peas was played. The following Monday I was in the principal's office with the lyrics, asking them not to play this song again. She agreed ~ she had no idea what the song meant.

My younger daughter, R, saved up and bought her own iPod, and together we decide what music/tv show is worth buying.

I also go onto our DVR and delete anything recorded that I do not approve of. It's my home, and I make the rules.

Be vigilant.

Laura of CA 11:55PM April 20, 2009

Could you be anymore close-minded and LAZY as a parent to do this? The problem isn't the celebrities, the problem is kids who feel the need to look to celebrities as role models. Parents who do a good job parenting their kids shouldnt have to worry about their kids picking up bad role models. For example, I'm a teenager but I know to separate artists from their personal life. I enjoy Chris Brown's music but I know what he did is wrong and unacceptable and he obviously had anger problems. I loveeee Rihanna's music but she obviously has some personal self-esteem issues.

Parents need to STEP UP and accept responsibility and stop blaming celebrities for all their kids problems. Celebrities are human, they make mistakes like everybody. They didnt SIGN UP to be role models. Some of them do though like Miley Cyrus and all the disney stars but Rihanna's tour outfits are always outrageously skanky and suggestive. How has she ever been a role model?

Mampy of GA 7:56PM April 20, 2009

Reading these morally dead, vacuous posts at least makes it pretty clear why a, shallow, corrupt egotist is in the White House, and why Nanny Pelosi is speaker.

R.L. Schaefer of CA 5:28PM April 20, 2009

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Mary Kate Cary

Mary Kate Cary

Mary Kate Cary is a former White House speechwriter for President George H.W. Bush. She currently writes speeches for political and business leaders.

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