Father's Day Wish: We Need More Mr. Moms

June 20, 2010 RSS Feed Print
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By Bonnie Erbe, Thomas Jefferson Street blog

This Father's Day I will hope once again that this special occasion will mark a seismic cultural shift. I will hope that American fathers will have turned a corner and grown as parents to the point where they play as full a role in their children's lives as do American mothers.

I know that shift did not occur during my father's generation. My father, who would have been 80 this year, told my mother that he wanted to see his son (my brother) when he could say, "Daddy." Dad didn't have much interest in any of his three children until they were older. He was a fabulous dad for a teenager with little interest in tending to small children. 

But now there's some evidence today's young dads are changing, and this news is quite welcome. USA Today reported this week:

"People don't realize how much things have changed, but if we look at the numbers, we see big increases in fathers' contact with children and big increases in fathers' payment of child support," says Paul Amato, also a Penn State sociologist and demographer.

I see more fathers with their kids in tow on the street, more men food-shopping and more men at playgrounds. Do they equal or outnumber the women yet? Of course not. But there are many more than there were in my father's generation (when there were none) and more even than the men of my generation whose children are now in college and graduate school.

I actually believe involved fatherhood is the solution to the daycare crisis. If two parents split child-rearing there would be many fewer times when no parent was around to take care of children. Fewer women would have to take time out from their careers to parent and fewer of them would then have trouble breaking back into the workforce when their children fledged.

Tags:
parenting,
working women

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I think if a woman wants to abandon her kids to follow her career that is just what she should do...i think if a man provides for his kids he is automatically a bad dad right...

WRONG

This is stupid. some women shouldn't be parents, if they feel like they are missing out on their lives then they should give up the brats for adoption and continue on with their lives. OR they need to suck it up and be decent mothers and the same goes for fathers.

i think dudes should provide for their families. no questions if they are able, do it. work hard provide for the entire family, love the mother of the child and respect her.

this foolishness i keep reading in this culture is almost like women regret being women and hate men who are men, its sooooo stupid.

This chicks poor dad could have been a better dad, but he did what he knew, now she is going to publish an article bashing his parenting, and all those meals she ate growing up as a result of his hard work.

poor dude's probably sad as all get out to find out his daughter hates his guts, now she publishes the daddy issues all over the net so everyone will know, her dad sucked at being a dad.

makes you want to get a v-sect.

ice cold of MS 11:24PM August 10, 2010

I am a stay-at-home dad and I love taking care of my two young kids. I also served 8 years with the USMC, so I do not feel as if I am some "sissy" or "out of touch" with my manhood or masculinity. Those who make such absurd claims as not knowing how to handle young kids and toddlers-grow up! Learn HOW to care for your children at whatever their ages. If you don't know how best to handle a tantrum or dirty diaper-ASK! A real man is someone who does not have to rely on the sexist and idiotic excuse that "men and women are different" as a license to withdraw from the day to day care of their own kids. Any man that cannot care for his own kids and show them love and compassion without the constant help of his partner is not a "real man", he is only pretending to be a man.

Richard of CA 10:56PM June 22, 2010

Thanks Bonnie for a great article! My dad is 82 and when I was growing up he was working more than he was home. I feel like I missed out on alot of years with him although we are close now.

I have watched the family of my oldest daughter, 32 yrs old, who is married to a man who gives as much time to his kids as she does. They also spend much time together as a family and my grandsons are reaping the benefits of having both parents be equally involved in their lives while raising very respectful, well-behaved and loved children.

I believe studies will continue to show that in families where dad's are more present and involved in their children's lives that these children will have better success and live all-around healthier lives.

Skye Pearl of OR 1:37AM June 22, 2010

Bonnie Erbe

Bonnie Erbe

Bonnie Erbe is a contributing editor at U.S. News & World Report and hosts PBS's weekly news analysis program, To the Contrary with Bonnie Erbe. She also writes a weekly syndicated newspaper column for Scripps Howard News Service.

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