Management Tips for Women: Confront, Confront … Praise

July 27, 2009 RSS Feed Print

By Bonnie Erbe, Thomas Jefferson Street blog

The New York Times has an interesting post on women as corporate managers. Reporter Adam Bryant interviewed, condensed, and then posted parts of a chat with Carol Smith, senior vice president and chief brand officer for the Elle Group, the media company. In it she talks about managing employees and has found in her own experience that winning them over is more effective than bossing them around:

"In the end I think that if you win people over, they'll follow you. And of course you need other qualities, like honesty, decisiveness and the ability to confront. I'm a really good confronter.

Q. What do you mean by "confronter?"

A. I have been in this career for many years and I have seen, and this is a generalization, that women are better list-makers. They will do their to-do list. They will prioritize their to-do list. They will get through their to-do list. Maybe it's because we do shopping lists. And if we have a problem—again, as a generalization—we will confront the problem and deal with it head-on.

I am definitely a list-maker, but I'm not sure I'm a confronter. I'm not referring to this job blogging for USNews.com, where I am a contractor rather than a manager. But at my own nonprofit TV production company, I manage three full-time workers and two contractors. I will confront at times, but only when I've put it off so long I'm about to blow my stack--not an advisable managerial trait.

The most important thing I remember from working full time for other people earlier in my career is to praise whenever it is merited. One cannot praise too often, because even if it feels to an employer as if he/she is praising a lot, it always feels to the employee as if the employer is not praising enough.

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between wishing to be a "confronter" of problems (a realist and a person of action) and wishing to be a "confronter" of people (a person who likes whacking people for the sake of "proving who's in charge".)

The former will have a lot of success, and the latter will sooner or later meet a match who knocks him/her flat--possibly permanently. It probably won't be an "employee" who does the flattening of the "confronter" (except maybe via a lawsuit). It will more likely be a customer, a critical supplier, a lender, a funder, a spouse, a child, a competitor, a colleague, or maybe just an off-the-wall incident like road rage or a bar fight.

Be careful of wishing you were more of a "confronter". Risky business. Some call it karma. Others just say "what goes around comes around."

Muser of NM 8:12PM July 27, 2009

Bonnie Erbe

Bonnie Erbe

Bonnie Erbe is a contributing editor at U.S. News & World Report and hosts PBS's weekly news analysis program, To the Contrary with Bonnie Erbe. She also writes a weekly syndicated newspaper column for Scripps Howard News Service.

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