Women Were Happier Working at Home? This Just Doesn't Feel Right

In this generation where 1 out of 2 first time marriages end up in divorce, a women needs to work to protect herself. What will she do if her husband runs off with a younger women leaving her home with 3 kids? The courts today rarely give a women alimony. Many women only get child support which if you are lucky will pay for groceries. The single women is forced to do it all and it is a rare man that will step in to marry her unless she has a good income of her own. There really is no way to step back in time because in society today divorce is well accepted. The new younger women is not looked down upon and the 50+ older man with a new baby is completely accepted. There are more and more single older mothers every day struggling.

The best advice we can give our daughters is to put their career first before her husband and children. Relationships are rarely balanced. The person that was able to put their career first will move up the path leaving the other person who cared for the home and children well behind. Usually that is us women who were brought up to put everyone else first. Our daughters need to divorce that concept. Maybe that is what it will take before society becomes concern with the divorce rate and the struggling single older mothers. Once us women step out of the picture as the main caregivers, society

will wake up and appreciate motherhood again. But if we continue to do it all, and look the other way when we see other single mothers struggling financially the cycle will never change.

Very concerned of FL 12:50AM June 03, 2009

One thing that isn't mentioned is that women marry at a later age now, having already established themselves in the working world. This probably makes it harder for them to make the transition to the home. My parents generation married at younger ages, so the women weren't used to careers. There wasn't a transition from the office to the home. Careers were something they (in some cases) wanted later in their lives, when their children were older.

I also think people are greetier today. One car isn't enough. A 1200 square foot house is too small. Bigger house means more resources (electricity, heat, water). More cars means more gas and more insurance. My parents had a mortgage, heating bill, electric bill and a phone bill. We have cell phones, internet access, 10,000 channels on tv with nothing on, two car payments, a second mortgage, college loans. We've made our lives more complicated than they need to be.

I also think the dual income household has created more wealth, which in turn has increased housing demand, increasing housing prices (which is your highest monthly cost).

And lastly, the cost of living has increased faster than wages, leaving middle and lower class families behind in the dust with no choice but to have both parents work full time. Maybe this is why we have fatter/dumber kids?

It's all very sad. We (our entire country as a whole) need to change our priorities. Help lower and middle class families survive off one income. Focus on family/nutrition/health/education so our children make better choices and live smarter lives than we do.

striker of CO 12:25AM May 28, 2009

Yes, despite what you may have been taught, there is indeed a difference between women and men. Women bear children and the hormonal changes are meant to help them bond with these helpless little creatures. Men learn to love their children, women are wired to love them. Staying home is an extention of this phenomenon. Men can be wonderful nurturers but they cannot be a mother.

I want to apologize from my generation to yours for not giving you good examples of nuclear families. The "Me" generation decided that pursuing the perfect orgasm was more important than raising our children or sticking with a slightly imperfect marriage.

Feminists told us and we told you that women could behave like sailors on leave and still feel good about ourselves. It is a lie. I don't expect everyone to remain a virgin but sex without love leaves women depressed, lonesome and empty. (My apologies to the brave men and women in the Navy for repeating that phrase about sailors.) Present day elebutants declare themselves to be the new form of feminism in which you gain power through sexual escapades. This is producing a lot of lonely, used and empty young women who have no sense of self other than their sexual organs. This is such a waste of young women's minds and bodies. That is also why today's young women drink more alchohol than in the past. Excessive drinking is a form of self-medicating.

Feminists told us and we told you that women needed to work outside of the home full-time to have worth. That is also a lie. There is time to devote to family and time to work if that is what you want to do. Trying to do both at the same time cheats everyone. Part-time work is a reasonable compromise if you really feel you need to work outside of the home for your own sense of accomplishment. Having to do both because of a missing partner is exhausting and difficult.

Feminists told us and we told you that you don't need a man. This is a half-truth. Not everyone needs a man, all women do not desire to be married to a man, but if you want to raise a family, a nuclear family is the strongest and healthiest way to do it. That doesn't mean there aren't other arrangements and different family makeups, but they are not the biological ideal for raising a family. Again, I apologize for my generations failings to protect your generation.

Lastly, having raised four children, I must tell you that time goes by so quickly. It doesn't feel like it when you are up at night with a crying baby, but in a wink of an eye they will grow up and become independent adults. You will look back at the physically exhausting days with longing and love. You will miss the time when their gentle little hands caressed your face or when they ran to you for comfort. You will miss reading to them, giving them baths, dressing them and brushing their hair. Looking back you will miss everything about your time with them when they were young. You will understand how important you were as their mother.

Skittles of IL 2:24PM May 22, 2009

As an 18 year old who hasn't started work and doesn't have a family, but someday plans on doing both, I have a question. In staying in the home is so great, why don't men do it? If working at home makes you happy, why don't men ever want to work at home? Are men and women so intrinsically different that happiness is different for them? And what's wrong with a woman who doesn't wish to spend her life in the home, like me? Seems to me that some people, possibly men and older women, are always complaining about feminism ruining the family and that women who want to stay in the home are accused of having no ambition, but it strikes me that all the flack is reserved for career women. That's certainly been my experience.

olivia of IN 12:46PM May 22, 2009