Bring Back the Stigma Against Unwed Mothers

maybe if these women had a single rational thought in their mind before they had sex with someone they wouldn't be in this situation. now days women are so "liberated" that sex with random strangers is something to be proud of. woman are no longer the fairer sex. they are disgusting. these women that pride themselves on being a "single mom" should be ashamed of the filthy degenerates that they are.

common sense of AR 11:15PM October 23, 2010

I suppose it would be much better for those "single mothers" to stay with cheating, drugging, drinking, abusive, irresponsible biological fathers/husbands/boyfriends, then?

Yes, because nothing makes a child grow up into a healthy adult like being forced to live in a home where one parent is doing drugs, cheating, abusing, drinking, or just ignoring his children altogether. Much better for women to subject both themselves AND the children to a "bad situation" then to just remove themselves from it and become a single mother.

There are many, many women who became pregnant with a husband or long-term partner who they *thought* was going to be a good father/husband to their children. There are also many men who waited until he had "locked" the woman down through marriage or pregnancy to begin mistreating her and their children. Including men who wanted the children as much as she did.

Why aren't you shaming "deadbeat fathers"? Why aren't you looking down your judgmental nose at the men who helped to create those children? Who cheated, divorced, or abused those "single mothers" who left them? The deadbeats who impregnate women and then run off and never pay.....only to turn around and impregnate some more women?

Did all of those "single mothers" magically impregnate themselves? No, I don't think so.

Not to mention that women have the RIGHT to have children and a family without having a man in her life whether she is straight or gay. Now you feel as if you have the right to tell women they MUST have a husband/man in her life to be allowed to enjoy the love and joy of children and a family?

You seem to forget that there are many single mothers who didn't "slut around" and become pregnant by accident by a bad man they chose. Many women simply want children without having to be married or have a man as a permanent fixture in her life.

That is every man and woman's right and that is why adoption is also legal and encouraged.

There are plenty of "married parents" who are terrible parents, awful people, and shameful influences on their children and society. It's sad that you are so ignorant you fail to see the simple truth in that fact.

You must be a very lonely, hateful woman to have such a low opinion of other mothers out there who love and delight in raising their children (whether alone or in a relationship) just as much as married mothers do.

A good mother is a good mother. There is no argument to that fact.

And no father is better than a bad father in every case.

It's clear that you are filled with unfounded hatred for other women and mothers, as well as feeling it is YOUR right to judge them, their decisions, and their individual situations as you see fit. That makes you a very disturbed and sick person who should probably seek professional help.

Single mothers are more often than not HAPPY to be mothers and their children are loved and well-cared for. Your failure to acknowledge that says a lot about YOU, not about them.

Ms. LBSM of PA 1:05PM October 04, 2010

That "Stigma" has never left single motherhood. While single mothers have worked hard over the past decades to make advances with little or no support, Ms. Erbe was apparently looking elsewhere for her facts.

Single mothers are higher educated than ever before. We make more money than married mommies, and we focus far more attention on our children than most wives do because we do not compromise our morals to please a partner.

Yes. We are older than before. Single mothers are becoming single mothers by choice. Ms. Erbe would prefer stigmatized teenaged single mothers, but unfortunately, the days of finding an easy target in a single mother for someone to kick while she is down are long over. We have fought and won our legal rights and without your support, Ms. Erbe. We put ourselves through college, and got legal support against deadbeat dads.

We are also improving the economy. Single mothers with the stigma you prefer lived on welfare. Single mothers who ignore the stigma, do not. We are tax paying, business owning, insurance purchasing, voting, superior citizens to those who prefer any class system or stigma on any group. Your call for a return to victimization of us is at once sad and humorous.

We are the women that feminism forgot and conservativism would like to use to feed that bruised ego, but wishing for that to change won't do you any good. We've proven ourselves strong in the face of adversity, and we adore our children and will fight you to remove the stigma you cling to in the hopes of economic and social superiority over anyone you can single out.

Move on, Ms. Erbe. You and your ilk will have to find another prey now. We single mothers don't care what you think, we have a stronger voice than you, we know it, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Conna Dewart of OK 12:34AM April 27, 2010

I am single in my early 30s and am now pregnant with my second child. My first I had in my early 20s prior to finishing my education. I finished because I knew that was the only way I could ensure that my child would have a good future. Fast forward to the present I was told by my doctor that due to all of the medication that I have taken because of my illness I would most likely never have chilsdren. No so much. I am still fertile. I have only been pregnant twice,no abortion. I take care of my children with no child support and enjoy a salary that is more than most 2 parent homes. I have also surrounded my children with family and godparents that love them just as much as I do. Yes, I would love to be married but a lot of men think that just because you are a single mom you are desperate. Ummm not so much. I believe that I have worked hard gotten an education, a job, I don't smoke, I concentrate on my health, and I care about my kids education. I want a man who feels the same and will share my values. In today society it is hard to find one who fits those characteristics so I stay single. I do not live with anyone and have recently re devoted my life to christ. I write to say that marriage is a beautiful union when it is between two people who are equally yoked and who love each other. Outside of that it can be tragic and so I do not feel it is for everyone. Maybe instead of judging a single mom you can choose instead to be a part of her support base.

Neil of NC 2:42PM March 20, 2010