Catholic Marriage Preparation Alienates Potential Church-Goers

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Marriage preparation classes can serve a vital role in bringing conversations on important topics to the forefront. By discussing these subjects prior to marriage, spouses-to-be have the opportunity to find common ground before issues begin driving a wedge into their relationship.

The Marriage Group offers a Marriage Prep Class that allows you to "attend" the course at your convenience at any time, from any internet-connected location in the world. Simply log into the user-friendly online learning environment and choose to view high-quality video presentations in the order and duration of time that fits your availability and interest.

www.themarriagegroup.com

Leo of MI 6:43PM December 21, 2009

Since God is love, to leave Him out of a marital covenant (not a contract that can be broken) is somewhat incongruous. The comments posted and the article all limit the view on marriage as a "thing" that a couple does and not a sacred bond that reflects the love that God has for us and allows us to share in that intimacy that allows us a foretaste of heavenly love and bliss. The idea behind the prep is not to give "dos and don'ts" but to stimulate discussion among the couples who spend more time reflecting on their wedding reception which lasts 6-8 hrs.than they do on how they will spend the majority of their lives together. Since we humans don't seem to know how to live our lives well, God gave us some guidelines (commandments) to help us know how to live as He would like so we can spend all eternity with Him. If we truly love Him and each other we would not need rules or commandments or even marriage prep.

Dr. Lester Ruppersberger of PA 8:46PM February 17, 2009

Phillip Jenkins, Professor of History and Religious Studies at Pennsylvania State University, wrote a book in 2003 called: The New Anti-Catholicism: The Last Acceptable Prejudice. Jenkins, along with numerous other scholars, have noted how polemical terms like "Spanish Inquisition" are used in reference to the Catholic Church. Not only are these terms used in polemics but they are loaded with legend and prejudice. They encapsulate a sentiment: hatred toward the Catholic Church. The Spanish Inquisition was initiated by Spanish Monarchs not the Catholic Church. Also, the Catholic Church, as we know it was much less centralized than it is now and it is anachronistic to assume that we can speak of a Church as a centralized institution as it is in the modern era. The papacy did have influence, but the popes were manipulated by many forces, beyond their own 'sinfulness'. Pope Sixtus IV was against the inquisition but was pressured into 'signing on' because of Ferndinand's threat of withdrawing much needed military protection. Further, in popular culture there is still present an image of the Inquisition that exaggerates its negative aspects to continue, often unknowingly, Protestant-Catholic polemics.

There was no reason for Bonnie Erbe to end the blog entry with a polemical, prejudice reference to a Black Legend perspective of the inquisition. Protestant and Catholic scholars know better. Please do a better job at being more sensitive. Catholics are a people with a rich history and culture, like any culture's history, it is imperfect, but they are none-the-less a people who deserve more than backhanded references that would be unacceptable if aimed toward Jews, Muslims, Native Americans, etc.

Barry Schoedel of WA 9:22PM February 12, 2009

I've just discovered Bonnie Erbe and her follwoings. How refreshing to read the thoughts of really sane people! Keep up the good work!

Uncle Jim

Kailua, Hawaii

Jim Curtice of HI 2:21PM February 12, 2009

Without pre-cana, do engaged couples do any pre-marital counseling. This relaxed forum helps couples to ask questions and communicats about issues that are either assumed to be agreed upon or never discussed. The answers ti eachothers questions can be quite enlightening

Tom of IL 12:22PM February 12, 2009

I am a divorced Catholic, and I become interested whenever I read about efforts to reduce the incidence of divorce.

I'm skeptical that pre-marriage counseling by itself can have a great impact on divorce rates. Counseling is good, but guidance is needed throughout the marriage, especially when the couple is in crisis and unable to untangle their own issues. And counseling MUST be more than religion-based. Divorces are very individual in nature, and those individual problems can't be successfully addressed with generalities.

If the intent of Catholic pre-marriage counseling is to help a couple navigate the waters ahead, then I agree that a regimen devoted mainly to "these are the rules" lectures won't be of much use. Those things may make for better Catholics but not necessarily for successful marriages.

James of IL 3:48AM February 12, 2009

I'm sorry you dismiss my words - I only refuted your reasoning and suggested you look a little deeper...

By the way, I never called protestants heretics or apostates - I was referring to pseudo Catholics. Protestants are protesters, outside the Church. Officially known as "separated brethren".

Regarding ecumenism - there is some common ground, but sadly with 3000, and growing , protestant denominations/churches/groups etc., it is fairly certain that no union will ever be achieved. Between the Orthodox and Latin Church ( share the same sacraments) perhaps, but with protestant churches - never.

Again, if you truly look deep enough you will find that there is only one Truth - not many, and all roads do lead to Rome.

R.L. Schaefer of CA 5:55PM February 11, 2009

The reason the Church has lost members over the last 40 years is because of a full embrace of modernism / progressivism... The birth control pill, legal abortions, "God is Dead" on Time magazine in the 1960's. Americans' post baby boom embraced materialism on a grand scale. This produced the most self centered, egotistical godless generation in the history of the world. They don't need God - they've created a god in their own image.

The folks who wanted to be "wooed back into the Church" prove the observation that it's all about feel good tactics and being persuaded using emotional tricks and flattery.

You have to come to God yourselves, and to His Church, He is waiting for you, His infinite mercy and love has never faltered, but He respects your free will and you need to be the one to make the move. God Bless.

Lisa of CA 5:28PM February 11, 2009

RELIGIONS

are all man made, so ,why expect any divine utterances ,when it,s all put together by imperfect men?

We have just now entered into the AGE OF AQUARIUS.

We arejust leaving the AGE OF PISCES, WHICH WAS RULED BY

FAITH. In the AGE OF AQUARIUS,THERE WILL BE REALITY CHECKS ON MOST THINGS. AND JUST BECAUSE SOME ,SO-CALLED AUTHORITY FIGURE STANDS UP TO SAY SOMETHING, DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY MEAN THAT YOU SHOULD BELIEVE THIS INDIVIDUAL.AS Pres. Reagan used to say, TRUST BUT VERIFY. And if a thing cannot be varified, then it stands to reason thatone is under no obligation to go along with whatever some person might come out and say.

It,s wise to try to see,what hidden agenda do they have?

Leslie Howell of AL 5:14PM February 11, 2009

Bonnie would rather yell, "foul!" against Bill O'Reilly instead of seeing Ms. Thomas for who she really is. Bill was poking fun. I wouldn't. But don't worry about dust when there's so much dung out there in our way.

Bonnie will bring up the inquisition and the apparent failings of the Catholic Church. If your heart is turned toward God, you don't see some of these things in that light. Instead you see the holiness of God in imperfect but faithful church. Would you judge God by his people who are imperfect? You don't need to. Instead, ask God Himself and with an empty heart listen.

Then you'll get off your high horse and begin to see.

Bob of CO 2:32PM February 11, 2009

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Bonnie Erbe

Bonnie Erbe

Bonnie Erbe is a contributing editor at U.S. News & World Report and hosts PBS's weekly news analysis program, To the Contrary with Bonnie Erbe. She also writes a weekly syndicated newspaper column for Scripps Howard News Service.

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