We're Child-Free, Not Childless

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"Well, childless does mean without children. The way you are stating it, you're making it sound as though children are a burden and people wish to be free of them. Childless is the correct way to say you have no children."

Well Chris of AZ the fact of the matter is that the English language isn't a dead language like Latin and continues to evolve. Irrespective, though, by what authority do you decide which definition is proper? Do you have a position with a group of individuals who have been deemed by the collective authority of all English speaking nations to make such determination which has made the term "child free" an invalid statement?

The above is a rhetorical statement and, of course, just helps to illustrate the fact that you have made an almost mystical determination of which definition of a term is valid based on your extremely narrow idea, or very subjective determination of what is valuable to you. Unfortunate that the dull minded among us have the greatest propensity to spread their sub-par DNA into the future. No reason to think such minds could stand to contribute any ground breaking new concepts to advance the future of civilization or the species.

"Wow. It almost sounds as though you have a contempt for humanity. Also, you better hope we start accepting more immigrants and they in turn have more children. Favorite programs that you support, such as Medicare and Social Security, depend upon having more people paying in than people taking out."

A ridiculous statement, and is an insult to the intelligence of the author and the rest of us. The minuscule energy of the chemical reaction that resulted in the low level firing of electrical charges between your feeble synapses was clearly wasted and would have been better used by primitive bactria in pigeon droppings which results in the breakdown of fecal matter into organic components used in the photo synthesis of plant life to fuel the existence of entities whose mental processes don't pollute the cyberspace with clearly anti-value memes of purely mind collapsing stupidity.

First of all, no doubt you have no idea of how the law of supply and demand effects the price of any commodity. Please read some history about how the Black Plague in the early 15Th century effected the cost of peasant labor. It doesn't take a genius to see that labor is a commodity in the science of economics, and that a relative shortage effects the price at a multiple of the percentage change. But never mind, I know it is difficult to educate the arrogantly stupid. My agenda is just to, in my own small way, discourage individuals possessing pitch black dull mentalities from having the misguided confidence to automatically type out such poorly thought out "concepts" with impunity.

chris of OR 7:10PM July 23, 2011

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music recording computer programs of AL 11:19PM May 19, 2010

In 2000 the census figures also showed 1 in 5 women 40-44 did not have children. The census does not track the choice factor but the census researchers I talked to when researching my book, Families of Two, theorized that the stat generally reflected the choice factor because medical technology is so good these days. We shall see what the 2010 census brings. Whether the choice is voluntary or not should really be separated out in the stats because the two are very different.

I would like to come up with new language around how we describe oursleves as childless by choice or childfree. Agreed--child"less" implies we are less than, or at least something in our lives is lacking, which reinforces long-held pronatalistic values. Child"free"--while relating the freedom that comes from opting out of parenthood, has also been associated with the stereotype that if you don't want kids, you must not be a responsible adult "yet" -- the puer or puella type refusing to grow up. This too puts the choice in a negative light. Either way, the words focus on "child" first--which to me means in using it we continue to reinforce a child-focus. We are not about having kids so why do we use this word in describing ourselves? We need new language for this that does not ultimately keep up on the defensive, having to justify our choice. What would be language instead that reflects that this choice is just as legitimate as the choice to have kids?

Laura Carroll of CA 7:47PM January 26, 2010

I am most certainly in support of the term "childfree" as opposed to "childless" in describing people who choose not to have children. The term "childless" is appropriate for people who want children, but do not (or cannot) have them for whatever reason. It is a term that implies lack or that one is missing something. This most definitely does not apply to people who choose not to have kids.

As a childfree person myself, I most certainly see my state as being free of children and all the hardship, sacrifice and burden having them entails. I also see my life as one that is more rich and more fulfilling because of the freedom I have - said freedom a direct result of having a life free of children.

For more on this topic, please visit my blog, Childfreedom.

http://childfreedom.blogspot.com/

Childfreeeee 3:37PM February 22, 2009

Perhaps, the mindless among us can't imagine a life as something other than a vehicle for DNA through space/time. Perhaps, those who criticise us who don't mindlessly replicate, have no imagination and are incapable of any other form of "creativity" except to have sex without birth control, and essentially substitute the recombining of thier DNA as a vehicle for "creativity" which is procreation, and isn't a substitute for bringing into existance that which couldn't possibley come about through pre-programmed mindless molecular rearangement that was initiated 3 billion years before the first sentient life arose on this planet.

History seems full of individuals who actually chose either to not have a family, or, left them so they could develope in ways that tradition at the time would otherwise not allow them to.

Many more of us have chosen to become something other than DNA replicators, and as a matter of fact, believe that if enough of us stop reproducing, it will cause a "people shortage" and actually speed up the bio/nano tech revolution in which many of us hope to see before we are old and die, i.e., modification of the human form to a better one than nature evolved..

..think about that..

Alderson of OR 1:16AM February 18, 2009

Great article Bonnie, and I totally agree with you!...Mostly. I don't think a govt. entity like the U.S. Census Bureau should be changing "childless" to "childfree" and it doesn't offend me that they use this academic/clinical term to describe us. Certainly some of us wanted kids and some of us didn't, but "childfree" seems to offend many of those who wanted them but couldn't have them.

There's a whole group of people that fall somewhere in the middle, between "infertile and/or unhappy that they couldn't procreate" and those who "never wanted to be a parent." I've coined this group the "kidfree."

You are kidfree if - either by choice OR by chance - you did not have kids in this lifetime. If you are upset and pining about not having kids, you are still childless. If, in hindsight, you are happy about the lifestyle and opportunities being a non-parent has brought you, you are KIDFREE.

I am writing a book called "Kidfree & Lovin' It" that looks at the reasons we are relieved we don't have kids, as well as the issues we must face for being unchilded in a child-centric world. I have an online survey that over 2,700 adults without children around the world have taken. I invite you to take it too!

Just click on this link to take you there, and you can remain anonymous if you like:

http://tinyurl.com/Kidfree-Survey

Thanks, and enjoy!

Kidfree Kaye

www.kidfreeandlovinit.com

P.S. I don't expect the government to start calling us Kidfree, but it's certainly something we can call ourselves.

Kidfree Kaye of CA 3:13PM February 16, 2009

Hello??? Children ARE a burden. When a child comes into this world, as a baby, you have to clothe the child, feed the child, soothe the child, entertain the child, provide toys, etc., for the child raise it and even after 18 years, it may never leave or if they do, they may come back. Tell me how this is not a burden? A child is a burden on ALL resources - mental, emotional, spiritual, monetary, physical, etc.

I am CHILDFREE because I AM FREE FROM THE BURDEN OF HAVING A CHILD. Childfree people are often looked down upon because we CHOSE not to have children, whereas some others didn't even bother to THINK that there was a choice. Instead, they just went ahead and had a child or children. I'm willing to bet that there are more and more unhappy parents in the world than those who are happy. For example, Casey Anthony, Andrea Yates and many more people who kill their kids (or drop them off in Nebraska!) after they are born because they really don't want the responsibility, they have anger issues or some other reason (like wanting to go out to the club or crying too much).

At any rate, childless implies that someone wanted a child or children and could not have them. Two different meanings here.

Have a kid or don't have a kid - do whatever you want to do, but don't knock the CF for making the choice NOT TO PROCREATE!

CF Female of IN 2:57PM December 11, 2008

Hi folks...

I am having a heck of a time finding people that do NOT have or want kids. Hence, I created the world's only 100% free CHILDFREE dating site:

www.IdoNOTwantKids.com

Child free dating. Instant full membership. No games.

( Just my way of trying to find, and helping others like me, find someone on this planet that does NOT have or want kids. )

IdoNOTwantKids of NJ 2:47PM November 11, 2008

"Well, childless does mean without children. The way you are stating it, you're making it sound as though children are a burden and people wish to be free of them. Childless is the correct way to say you have no children."

Unless you are completely deluding yourself, children ARE a burden. Even parents who love their children very much can at times see them as a burden.

And as for people wishing to be free of them.... Yeah, that's pretty much it. Those of us who make a conscious decision to not have children DO wish to be free of them. Therefore, child-free is indeed more accurate than childless. Using the term "less" implies that we are missing something or feel incomplete. Believe me, I would feel more like I was missing something if I had to spend 24 hours a day worrying about the well-being of a kid. Thanks, but my husband and I have a wonderful relationship as it is. Why fix something that's not broken?

Katherine of MO 10:30PM October 16, 2008

"The way you are stating it, you're making it sound as though children are a burden and people wish to be free of them."

Well, some of us that are CHILDFREE DO that think that way! Not everyone likes children or wants to be around them. If you want children and, for whatever reason, don't/can't have them - you are childless. If you do not want them, you have made a choice to be childfree.

ES of MI 12:16PM September 04, 2008

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Bonnie Erbe

Bonnie Erbe

Bonnie Erbe is a contributing editor at U.S. News & World Report and hosts PBS's weekly news analysis program, To the Contrary with Bonnie Erbe. She also writes a weekly syndicated newspaper column for Scripps Howard News Service.

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