1. McCain : "This morning I dismissed my entire team of senior advisers. All of their positions will now be held by a man named Joe the Plumber."
2. Obama : "I was originally told we'd be able to move this outdoors to Yankee Stadium.... Can somebody tell me what happened to the Greek columns that I requested?"
3. McCain : "This campaign . . . began so long ago with the heralded arrival of a man known to Oprah Winfrey as 'The One.' Being a friend and colleague of Barack, I just called him 'That one.'... He doesn't mind at all.... he even has a pet name for me—George Bush."
4. Obama : "Contrary to the rumors you have heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father, Jorel, to save the planet Earth."
5. McCain : "It's gonna be a long, long night at MSNBC if I manage to pull this thing off."
Source: Kansas City Star