Pistorius: 'It Dawned on Me That it Could Have Been Reeva'

Olympian Oscar Pistorius stands following his bail hearing in Pretoria, South Africa, Tuesday, Feb. 19, 2013. The magistrate ruled that Pistorius faces the harshest bail requirements available in South African law.

Olympian Oscar Pistorius stands following his bail hearing in Pretoria, South Africa, on Feb. 19, 2013.

Associated Press + More

By The Associated Press

PRETORIA, South Africa (AP) — Here are excerpts from the court affidavit made by Oscar Pistorius in a bail hearing Tuesday after the athlete was charged with premeditated murder over the Feb. 14 shooting death of his model girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp:

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"I fail to understand how I could be charged with murder, let alone premeditated murder, as I had no intention to kill my girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp ("Reeva"). ... I deny the aforesaid allegation in the strongest terms. ...

"On the 13th of February 2013 Reeva would have gone out with her friends and I with my friends. Reeva then called me and asked that we rather spend the evening at home. I agreed. ... By about 22h00 on 13 February 2013 we were in our bedroom. She was doing her yoga exercises and I was in bed watching television. My prosthetic legs were off. We were deeply in love and I could not be happier. I know she felt the same way. She had given me a present for Valentine's Day but asked me only to open it the next day.

"After Reeva finished her yoga exercises she got into bed and we both fell asleep. I am acutely aware of violent crime being committed by intruders entering homes ... I have received death threats before. I have also been a victim of violence and of burglaries before. For that reason I kept my firearm, a 9 mm Parabellum, underneath my bed when I went to bed at night.

"During the early morning hours of 14 February 2013, I woke up, went onto the balcony to bring the fan in and closed the sliding doors, the blinds and the curtains. I heard a noise in the bathroom and realized that someone was in the bathroom. ... I felt a sense of terror rushing over me. ...

"I believed that someone had entered my house. I was too scared to switch a light on.

"I grabbed my 9mm pistol from underneath my bed. On my way to the bathroom I screamed words to the effect for him/them to get out of my house and for Reeva to phone the police. It was pitch dark in the bedroom and I thought Reeva was in bed. I noticed that the bathroom window was open. I realized that the intruder/s was/were in the toilet because the toilet door was closed and I did not see anyone in the bathroom. ...

"It filled me with horror and fear of an intruder or intruders being inside the toilet. ... As I did not have my prosthetic legs on and felt extremely vulnerable, I knew I had to protect Reeva and myself. I believed that when the intruder/s came out of the toilet we would be in grave danger. ...

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"I fired shots at the toilet door and shouted to Reeva to phone the police. She did not respond ... Everything was pitch dark in the bedroom and I was still too scared to switch on a light. Reeva was not responding.

"When I reached the bed, I realized that Reeva was not in bed. That is when it dawned on me that it could have been Reeva who was in the toilet. I returned to the bathroom calling her name. I tried to open the toilet door but it was locked. I rushed back into the bedroom and opened the sliding door exiting onto the balcony and screamed for help.

"I put on my prosthetic legs, ran back to the bathroom and tried to kick the toilet door open. I think I must then have turned on the lights. I went back into the bedroom and grabbed my cricket bat to bash open the toilet door. ... Reeva was slumped over but alive.

"I battled to get her out of the toilet and pulled her into the bathroom. I phoned Johan Stander ("Stander") who was involved in the administration of the estate and asked him to phone the ambulance. ... I carried her downstairs in order to take her to the hospital. ... I tried to render the assistance to Reeva that I could, but she died in my arms. ...

"I cannot bear to think of the suffering I have caused her and her family, knowing how much she was loved. I also know that the events of that tragic night were as I have described them and that in due course I have no doubt the police and expert investigators will bear this out.