MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE BROLLYS
In Mayfair, London's wealthy hedge fund neighborhood, the enormous golf umbrella with a fund logo is de rigueur. But you can't buy them — adding to their allure — and you must be part of the tribe to know which fund is hot this month, which is not and which is the next Ponzi scheme. Plus you will get in trouble with Olympic security (see below).
LISTEN TO THE OLYMPIC SECURITY STAFF
As I passed through Olympic Park security this week, a jovial debate ensued among the guards. Were the uncovered spikes on my tattered umbrella a weapon?
Apparently not. But the staff did have one big plea for visitors — NO GOLF UMBRELLAS. They will be confiscated. You will be angry. You could get wet. This was allegedly written in extremely fine print somewhere in the instructions about Olympic tickets, but the guards know thousands will be upset when their brollys are permanently detained.
They say they hate being the bad guys.
And no walking-length umbrellas with steel tips either. Stick to the folding ones.
BACK TO THE SOURCE
I admit defeat, go back to James Smith & Sons, buy a lovely brown-and-silver plaid folding brolly for 34.99 pounds ($54.70). It's so pretty it banishes my bag-lady look. Will they talk to the press now?
Of course not.