Jimmy Carter in the Middle East: Peace and Bird Watching

Carter is probably the most proficient bird watcher that ever lived. You see it takes a specie to recognize it's own kind and Carter is always looking for the notoriously infamous political dirty bird. He always looks in the most volatile regions of the world knowing beforehand it is where he has the best chance of success. Why it is where all his dirty bird friends congregate to stir up hatred and dissenion against decent people. The notorious dirty bird can be found lurking behind the scenes in any country, causing unrest and interjecting unwanted advise. They are actually easily recognizable by their mating call, which sounds distinctly like a whining child who thinks they should always be the center of attention. They have been known to be seen in the most peculiar positions---namely with their head in a place you would think it impossible to be, which invariably causes lack of good judgment and clear vision. We need to rid the world of these avian vultures because contrary to popular belief they serve no useful function. It would be good if they ate their young but they are always seen devouring and ranting about the right winged conservative eagle commonly found in most middle states in America. Our only hope is to continue to support those who speak out against this dangerous dark winged dirty bird. The battle to eradicate this species will be long and hard, but with the help of those who believe in a true republic we shall overcome. It is dangerous for all concerned to have this bird flying around the globe with it's head up who knows what or where. I think it was reported to have caused the crash of the plane on the Hudson. Fortunately no one was injured. But we must be ever vigilant, these birds can be found most anywhere if you look long and hard enough.

Everett Tracey of TN 10:40AM February 18, 2009