Even though we're usually out of town when it happens, there is nothing better than getting the invitation to the annual Major League Baseball All-Star Game party thrown by GOP wordsmith and pollster Frank Luntz. This party, the seventh, will be on July 15 at his McLean home, which is like a museum to American culture where the stuff on the floors and walls is usually more interesting than the game. This year, Luntz debuts stuff like John Wayne's Green Beret shirt and a letter about Reconstruction from Ulysses Grant. But it's the top 10 reasons for attending that he listed on the invitation that caught our attention this year:
TOP 10 REASONS TO ATTEND:
No. 10: Watch backyard whiffleball pitting Eliot Spitzer's " dates " against Roger Clemens's "girlfriends."
No. 9: Hear Dick Cheney mutter, "So?" after a game-winning grand slam.
No. 8: John McCain gets Cubs and White Sox mixed up for the fifth time, prompting Joe Lieberman to correct him.
No. 7: Hillary Clinton promises to take the losing team with her all the way to Denver.
No. 6: Barbara Boxer...Barbara Mikulski...slippery slide...need I say more?
No. 5: For kicks, let's see if an ice sculpture of Al Gore can survive nine innings.
No. 4: Frank will confidentially announce his prediction of who will win last year's Super Bowl. He will be wrong...again.
No. 3: Get advance copies of Scott McClellan's new book, Out of Left Field: My Totally Unprovoked Revolt Against My Favorite National Pastime and Rant Against a Bunch of Rumored Steroid Users.
No. 2: During the seventh-inning stretch, sing along with the Rev. Jeremiah Wright's special rendition of "God Damn America."
No. 1: See this year's baseball All-Stars before they become next year's congressional witnesses.