Maybe Zbig Can Replace the I-Man

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Here's a thought: How about replacing foul-mouthed shock talker Don Imus with former Carter national security adviser Zbigniew Brzezinski? Give me a minute to explain.

Seems that the war foe has a shock jock's way of putting down ideas and those he isn't too impressed with. At breakfast today, for example, he took a shot at security guards, the British Navy, and even the new war boss in Iraq, Gen. David Petraeus. You be the judge:

On security guards. Claiming that the nation has become fear driven, he offered this tale: "You go to any building in the city, it's lunatic to the way the system operates and I know how it operates. These security companies have been set up. They write letters to the owner of buildings and say we can offer you security and so forth for such and such a fee, and probably somewhere in small print it says that may protect you against liability if anything happens. So everybody gets scared and hires them. It's a totally fraudulent operation. You walk into a building, somebody says show me your ID, in one place somebody asks me what is the purpose of the visit," he says. "Suppose I wrote down I'm here to blow up the building. Would that somewhat sleepy, maybe semi-illiterate quote unquote guard with a big badge–special security agent–stop me? It's absurd."

On the Brits. Here, he has a laugh at the recent seizure by Iran of British sailors, a situation he fears could prompt a harsher reaction than diplomacy should the next one target Americans. "I am afraid that we may get involved in a war that escalates and dynamically enlarges. Something happens involving like ... the British sailors, the recent heroes of the British Navy. Suppose they had been shot and massacred. Supposed it hadn't been these kind of–I must say I am amazed at the British military. But suppose these had been U.S. marines who might not have folded up and wept the first night while interned. Suppose they fired and had been massacred. What do we do? The president goes on the tube and says 15 heroes have just been massacred, etc., etc., I'm here to protect national interests. I'm ordering bang–this for that."

On Petraeus. Here, Zbig raps Republicans and military officials who claim that if a withdrawal timeline is approved, the enemy will just go dormant until the Americans leave. "I find that argument kind of hard to deal with, because it has a simplistic appeal to the public mind and I think this is why the administration uses it. But it's a little bit like, you know, waving General Petraeus all the time as a flag; you know he's a good-looking and intelligent general, so we'd better trust him because these Democratic politicians are not trustworthy. That works, I agree, politically, but I don't find it intellectually persuasive."