"St. Patrick's Day is an occasion that unites two distinct groups of Americans: those who are of Irish descent, and those who wish they were."
"Now I wake up in the morning and say, 'Who do I hate today?'"
"I prove the fact that there's no literacy test to run for office."
"It should be S-h-a-i-k-h or S-h-e-i-k-h, but not S-h-a-y-k-h.
Sources: the White House, Washington Examiner (3)