CEO Tweets We'd Love to See

The rules have loosened for CEOs using social-media sites. If only they'd say something interesting.

By + More
FE_DA_130403CEOPhones.jpg
Sheldon Alderson of Las Vegas Sands Corp., Alan Mulally of Ford, Thorsten Heins of Blackberry and Jeff Bezos of Amazon use electronic devices.

The Securities and Exchange Commission has stepped into the 21st century and declared that CEOs and other executives can officially release corporate information on social-media sites such as Twitter and Facebook. There's still one problem, though: Most CEOs are dull and guarded, at least when they know they're speaking to the public.

[ALSO: How a Second Korean War Would Harm the U.S. Economy]

It doesn't have to be that way. As Twitter and Facebook users know, social media is a terrific way to engage in chatty banter with friends and followers everywhere. If CEOs would just lighten up a little, we might see tweets such as these:

Jamie Dimon, J.P. Morgan Chase: Whale, shmale. I got my sexy back: http://bit.ly/14AXMuX

Jeff Bezos, Amazon: Today I think I'll disrupt Major League Baseball. Can easily undercut the #Yankees.

Larry Ellison, Oracle: Cruising in Med but can't see water b/c yacht extends to horizon.

Ron Johnson, J.C. Penney: Please shop at my store. Pls!

Reed Hastings, Netflix: $NFLX stock up 210% since Sept 2012 and before that I don't recall.

[SEE: Kevin Spacey of House of Cards Comments on Netflix Binge-Watching Model]

Larry Page, Google: Anybody know why @ericschmidt seems obsessed with @NorthKorea? Got a GF over there Eric?

Rex Tillerson, Exxon: Our 2012 profit: $45 B. Suck it people. #richerthanyouwilleverbe

Alan Mulally, Ford: It's great to see that our competitors who got bailouts no longer need bailouts #incaseyouforgotthatwouldbeGMandCHRYSLER

Jim McInerney, Boeing: No Boeing airplane has caught fire in at least 85 days. Can #Airbus say that? Oh.

Eric Lefkofsky, Groupon: Today's deal: 70 percent off $GRPN stock! Tomorrow, 80 percent off.

Sheldon Adelson, Las Vegas Sands Corp.: RT @CharlesGKoch RT @jack_welch RT @realDonaldTrump RT @KarlRove RT @Eastwood RT @chucknorris Leaving for Canada now.

Hugh Hefner, former CEO, Playboy Enterprises: Anybody remember who I'm married to? #mustbeblonde

Thorsten Heins, Blackberry: Hey @finkd – call me maybe? Hoping you might have some tips on how to build a hip new phone.

[READ: BlackBerry Prolongs Its Day of Reckoning]

Rupert Murdoch, News Corp.: ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz tell james to handle it zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Tim Cook, Apple: iWonder if we should buy Twitter. #channelingsteve

Rick Newman's latest book is Rebounders: How Winners Pivot From Setback To Success. Follow him on Twitter: @rickjnewman.