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Analysis: New York's Chuck Schumer, Kirsten Gillibrand Seem Safe Bets

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Schumer is a well-known poodle for Wall Street--look at his campaign finances. So let's all vote for a very good friend of those wonderful people who gave us the financial crisis and chucked us (not their friends) out of jobs.

David Birnbaum of NY 2:56AM July 22, 2010

DOMO ARIGATO, MS. ROBOTO?
by Publius
Washington D.C.—Carolyn Maloney, the nine-term Democratic Congresswoman from New York’s 14th District made news today, as it was discovered that the longtime Representative is in fact, a robot.
Ms. Maloney, or Terminator model T8-7200 as she is known in the factory where she was assembled, was “outed” during a routine interview with The Washington Daily Ledger. After Ms. Maloney provided the crucial vote to continue government-funded bailouts, Ledger reporter Joe West caught up with the Congresswoman for an impromptu questioning.
When Mr. West asked Ms. Maloney why she decided to vote to give billions of taxpayer dollars to the very companies whose failed policies helped lead to the recent financial panic, she responded bluntly, “I voted the party line,” and coughed up a four inch screw.
Clearly unfazed by a government official with a screw loose, Mr. West felt compelled by journalistic integrity to continue the questioning. When he probed further and asked, “How could you be so reckless with taxpayer dollars at a time when so many people are losing their homes?” T8-7200, aka Ms. Maloney, responded, “I voted the party line,” in the same monotone, robotic sound that had previously passed for conviction in happier economic times.
Though she did not cough up another screw, she did blow out a small fireball from her left ear after responding to the question. At that moment, Mr. West became fearful for his safety. Nearby press started to notice that something was wrong with the incumbent Democratic Congresswoman.
“One screw coughed up in a day, no problem,” commented an unidentified Congressional Aide who feared for his career---and his life. “A screw and a fireball, that’s more Senator behavior…that’s when we knew something wasn’t quite right.
Although Mr. West and the growing mob of other reporters kept questioning Ms. Maloney, she kept repeating “I voted the party line” to every single question, even when she was asked what she wanted for lunch and, if she was a butterfly, what kind of butterfly would she be?
It was discovered she was a robot when Ms. Maloney’s Congressional Aide stepped into the mob carrying an oversized, metallic can-opener, and put his hand on the back of her neck, turning the dial from “Auto-Pilot” to “Make Unkeepable Promises.”
Obviously, people at the scene were left in shock as Ms. Maloney was carted away in an unidentified software corporation’s steel reinforced box that read “Guaranteed to vote the party line 99.2 % of the time or your lobbyist free.” Before being put into the box, Ms. Maloney hiccupped oil on to several of the press, and screamed out “I am Iron Man!”
Ms. Maloney is running for re-election in New York’s 14th district on a platform of responsible government and shared humanity. We here at The Informer sure hope her manufacturer can remove all her glitches in time for the election, or at least her debates.

RP of NY 4:40PM June 02, 2010

Actually, Gillibrand's seat is still quite vulnerable. The GOP should seriously consider drafting Betsy McCaughey, who has the name recognition and statewide popularity to defeat this weak Democratic party candidate.
The Republicans constantly trip over themselves when it comes to nominating candidates for seats they can win. This year, the leadership should take its biggest guns and aim them at the Dems' weakest link, and nominating Betsy McCaughey would fill a few requirements:
1. Someone with political mettle who can handle the mudslinging that will happen.
2. A person with expertise on the Constitution and Health Care issues and the professional ability to battle for the repealing of ObamaCare from the inside
3. A woman to run on a slate filled with only male candidates.
Ed Cox needs to draft McCauighey for no other reason, however, thant that she can actually win Gillibrand's Senate seat and bring another Republican Senator to Washington.

Lando Griffin of NY 1:20PM May 31, 2010

It is also great that New Yorkers can finally turn the page on the David Paterson mis-administration by electing Cuomo.
David Paterson proved long ago that he could not govern. “The Democratic Conference: Organizational and Operational Structure Report” is an eyewitness account of Paterson’s DYSFUNCTIONAL governing nature.
http://www.politico.com/static/PPM110_demreportfinal.html
This report heavily criticized Paterson’s leadership as Senator Minority leader. His office was criticized for PATRONAGE, LACK OF LEADERSHIP, INDECISIVENESS and INFIGHTING, set against a backdrop of general CHAOS – in other words the office was a ZOO. Those interviewed in the report indicated that its chief of staff the disorganized and inept Michael Jones-Bey had no management skills, and would get DRUNK with staff, often coming in the office with a HANGOVER, and should be fired.
Amazingly, for running such a DYSFUNCTIONAL CHAOTIC office, Paterson picked the disorganized Mr. Jones-Bey mismanage the Division of Minority & Women Owned Business Development at Empire State Development Corporation.
Once elected, Cuomo needs to clean out Paterson's staff before more damage is done and more of the wrong people profit from his office.

cleanupnynow of NY 2:01AM May 28, 2010