How to Survive When You Hate Your Job

Expert advice on how to improve your experience and your relationships at work

By Liz Wolgemuth

Posted: July 8, 2009

With 9.5 percent of American workers unemployed and on the job hunt, you know exactly how you should feel about the job you have: ridiculously fortunate. And you are. But at the same time, maybe not—because you hate your job. Every moment at the office is interminable. Sunday nights, you practically cry yourself to sleep. Happiness comes at 5:01 p.m. on Friday. And if you won the lottery, there's no doubt you would quit your job without a second, moralistic thought.

You're not alone. The majority of American workers say they plan to start looking for work when the economy recovers, according to a recent survey from Adecco and Harris Interactive. But the bottom line is that you probably still need your job. So, you need a strategy for surviving it.

[Search for your best place to find a job.]

Figure out what's changed. More than 20 percent of employees say this recession has lowered their job satisfaction, according to a survey by the Society for Human Resource Management. If you're really unhappy at work, stop and do a self-examination. "Most people who hate their jobs have never asked themselves why they hate them," says Sylvia Lafair, author of Don't Bring It to Work: Breaking the Family Patterns That Limit Success. Although the recession may have increased your workload, erased company perks, or changed your job description, it's worth pinpointing the thing you hate, even if the economy is to blame. If you don't know why you feel so miserable in your job, it's easy to get stuck in a cycle in which you continue to pursue jobs with the same problematic attributes.

[See how to ask for a raise after the recession.]

Start a research project: Lafair offers a pithy goal for job-haters who are stuck because of high unemployment rates: "If you can't leave it, what can you learn from it?" Very often, people hate their work because of troubled relationships with coworkers or—what is more common—a supervisor. It's important to figure out what it is about your coworkers that's so frustrating and then work out new ways of responding to them. Treat it like a research project, Lafair suggests. You'll find that a sense of experimentation can inject new energy into your daily routine. Many times, people find that what they disliked most about these relationships is their own unwillingness to speak up or to avoid certain conversations, Lafair says.

Start with gratitude. A crucial step to curing your doldrums is a change in perspective, says Patrick Lencioni, author of The Three Signs of a Miserable Job . You should keep in mind, he notes, that just having a job is enough for some people. This doesn't mean you should be satisfied with the status quo, but you should recognize the value of your position.

Look around the office. If you hate your job, there's a good chance that other people around you do, too. Negativity breeds negativity. Despite what got the ball rolling in the first place, you can choose to be part of a move in the opposite direction. "You can go to work and actually make someone else's job less miserable," Lencioni says. "Use your job to help others." Although there may be other methods of reducing your unhappiness—by improving your skills or shifting some of your workload to a coworker—money and staff are tight, and employees probably won't have too many levers to pull during this recession.

[See why the job market isn't as bad as you think.]

Help colleagues with three things. Employees who are miserable in their jobs tend to be miserable because of three things, Lencioni says. They feel anonymous; they feel irrelevant, as though their work doesn't matter; and they don't know how to measure their success. You can help a coworker feel less anonymous; relationships at work are so important that those who feel known by their coworkers have a hard time leaving their jobs even voluntarily. Also, feedback is crucial; working without a sense that your contribution matters to the company's objectives will put you on the road to misery. Find a way to help other people realize why their job matters. If you're a manager, let your employees know how you measure their performance.

Negative work environment

I have a physically hard job. I am 56 years old, and HAVE tried to find other employment to no avail. And I do have some medical experience. But, no one seems interested in hiring a 56 year old female.

Where I work, the workers are worked to death because of cut-backs and the all mighty BUDGET!! We have our wages frozen, and our hours have been cut back. This means MORE WORK with less time to get the work done. It's just a bad environment, and the management sucks! The work place is only as good as it's leader. And our leader does not care about any of us "workers." We don't count!!

Becky of IN @ Oct 09, 2009 02:03:27 AM

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't

I believe that the writer had alot of good advice for the short-term. However, over the long haul, I don't think those self-mind minupulation tactics work. As people, one can only take soo much. Our jobs are part of our complete package called our life. Eventually, the unhappiness felt at work will start to affect our home life. So to help you cope at work, made daily steps toward finding a new job. This will definitely give you new found hope.

kibibi of MI @ Sep 17, 2009 10:36:39 AM

lopez.I

i suggest that you have to put more information about the jobs that are considered the highest stress level

fernanda of CA @ Sep 16, 2009 13:03:33 PM

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