When Being Nice Is a Bad Move

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Hardball? When?

Jesus somehow knew when the time was right to feed people, heal people and forgive people for wrongdoing. He also knew when to get a whip and drive the moneychangers out of the Temple.

"Hardball", for people of conscience (including women), is a defensive thing you do in response to the prior offensive actions of injustice by bullies. "Hardball", practiced routinely as a mere means to bowl over other people and get ahead, is a thing that invites you to reap what you sowed.

Daniel David of NM @ May 10, 2008 11:01:58 AM

Fatesrider, I agree with what Liz says in her comment. I'll also add this: I think women can, over time, change the tenor of the business environment and move it away from the destructive aspects of competitiveness that you (and I) decry. But I think they can't do it from the outside, and Lois's post is pointing out that they can't get inside unless they learn to accept the way they have to play... for now.

Consider that when there are enough women in the highest positions in business -- and it's getting there, if too slowly -- things will change from the inside.

That's what I'm hoping to see, anyway.

Barry Leiba of NY @ May 03, 2008 08:39:27 AM

Woman stereotype

I agree that this excerpt helps perpetuate the woman stereotype of being compassionate and nice. In this case though, I think even a guys baseball team would have done the same thing. When someone is injured like that and you have good sportsmanship it would't matter that it was the winning run, you would help them.

It is important to know when to play hardball. Women in business have this incredible balancing act of showing womanly compassion at times, but also not giving in when it's time to play hardball. Too much on one side or the other and you could create enemies!

Melanie of WA @ May 02, 2008 17:44:09 PM

I don't advocate office malice

"Being cutthroat, playing mean, going for the eyes, all of the usual, back-stabbing, ladder-climbing malicious things done in the name of personal advancement erodes the ethics and conscience of those doing those things to get that corner office."

You won't get any argument from me on this.

But I think the idea here is that women often perceive competition as a negative. Winning means someone loses--and you certainly don't want to ruin someone's day by making them lose. But if you're really winning the game, if you've played better and you deserve the victory--then it ought to be savored and accepted. Just like--If you've been given an assignment that requires leadership over coworkers--which is a kind of win--then embrace the opportunity. Don't hand the reigns over, or delegate the leadership along with the responsibility, because you don't want the discomfort that comes with promotion.

Liz Wolgemuth of DC @ May 02, 2008 13:41:58 PM

Exactly the wrong message

Inasmuch as this blog points to the fact that the workplace is a cutthroat environment, the message here is that it's good to be cutthroat at the appropriate time. I disagree. Business ethics (an oxymoron if ever there was one) are effected by one's behavior in at work. Being cutthroat, playing mean, going for the eyes, all of the usual, back-stabbing, ladder-climbing malicious things done in the name of personal advancement erodes the ethics and conscience of those doing those things to get that corner office. When one's conscience can rationalize screwing over a fellow worker, it becomes easier to rationalize cooking the books (ala Enron), cutting a corner (ala Mattel and the Chinese toy factories), scrimping on disposal (Look at any Superfund site) or any other ethical lapse we've seen in the last hundred years to make that extra buck.

Is there a correlation between the degradation of ethical behavior in one's quest for the corner office and the degradation in ethical behavior displayed by the corporation's actions? I don't think anyone's done a study on that, but assuming this is posted and read, perhaps it will become the subject of a doctoral thesis in the near future. On thing I know won't happen: A sudden burst of ethics on the part of big business. After all, the Darwinian mandate says only those who are the most fit will make it to the top. In business, they are either supremely qualified or have the least ethical qualms about rising to the top over the professionally assassinated bodies of their rivals will make it. Most are not supremely qualified. And those "ethically challenged" profession assassins are most often the very people in charge of 'big business'.

Fatesrider of CA @ May 02, 2008 12:16:17 PM

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