Don't You Dare Get 'Sweetie' on Me

BO just lost my vote

Most of us replying here have real careers and real responsibilities and we also hear things in the workplace that are by far more demeaning than being called sweetie - from men AND women. The point is....its demeaning and its clearly a put down. In one moment, BO through the woman's vote under the truck 'cause he valued the blue collar white mans vote more. Calculated and pathetic. It absolutely is not being used as a term of endearment no matter what the spin doctors tell us.

Older white woman with a real career and real responsibilities of MN @ May 16, 2008 23:38:01 PM

Call me "Sweetie"

I call men at my office "sweetie" all the time and they call me "Sweetie" or "Honey" back. So far, none of us have needed therapy as a result and all of us have managed to avoid being sued for sexual harassment or discrimination.

I think if we all used the word "Sweetie" to address our colleagues and business associates, the world would be a better place.

Melody of NY @ May 16, 2008 10:53:19 AM

No Big Deal

Come on, this really isn't a big deal. The reason some women feel annoyed, insulted or belittled by such terms of endearment is because they lack self-confidence, feel that they have under-achieved in their careers or that they are "just playing dress-up in my mommy's closet." Such feelings of insecurity lead to over-sensitivity to flippant, off-hand and innocuous comments such as Barack Obama's "sweetie" remark.

All of the really succesful women (and men) I know share certain traits - they are extremely confident and self-assured; they are not easily offended and don't take trivial remarks to heart; they are always positive in their outlook and tend to assume the best rather than the worst. Working on our own self-esteem, educating ourselves and working hard is the best way to achive genuine and meaningful equality. Whining and complaining all the time gets us nowhere and and only serves to reinforce negative stereotypes of women.

Ladies, to make an issue of something so trivial is a real insult to women all over the world who have struggled against and continue to fight serious discrimination on a daily basis.

I am not a Hillary supporter, but for those of you who are, do you really believe she got to where she is today by whining? I don't think so.

Cleo of CA @ May 16, 2008 10:38:21 AM

Get a life, ladies!

Female reporters have it real easy if the biggest thing they have to complain about is being called "sweetie". I'm a female lawyer and if people want to see what offensive really is, they should try spending a day working in law firm. Some of the terms banded around the average attorney's office would probably cause most of you flakey, pathetic "Boo-hoo, I'm so upset he called me sweetie" types to have a nervous breakdown.

To Miss Tickly above, I can only say, GET A LIFE! In my opinion, it is the women who have nothing more important to worry about than being called "sweetie" who are the ones with low self esteem. Those of us with real careers and responsibilities have far more pressing concerns. If you truly feel offended and belittled by something so petty, you really need to get a life (and maybe some therapy).

I support Obama and will indeed be voting for him in the presidential election. Hillary is toast, along with all those ridiculous, hypocritical feminists who believe that other women need to be dictated to and are not entitled to make their own choices.

And just for the record, he can call me "sweetie" any time.

Token Brit of NY @ May 16, 2008 09:47:09 AM

Don't call me sweetie...

Thanks for mentioning me in your blog, Liz.

I think most people use terms like "sweetie" and "honey" out of habit, not as an intentional slight. But like Barack Obama said, it's a "bad habit," especially in professional situations. Even though he said he refers to "all kinds of people" that way, I doubt that Obama would call Hilary Clinton "Honey" during one of their debates if he didn't want to respond to her questions.

Pet names like "sweetie" and "honey" seem appropriate to me only in familiar relationships – mainly between lovers or parents and their children. In other situations those words seem dismissive and demeaning. But for some reason calling someone "hon" is accepted for the most part, and if someone does take offense it's usually excused with an "Oops."

Obama didn't do anything that other people don't do every day – he just did it on the campaign trail. He was right to apologize to the reporter, but it would have been even sweeter if he would have answered her question.

Brianna Horan of PA @ May 16, 2008 09:45:11 AM

Really? You're serious?

Women who vote Obama have such low self esteem. What's more, women who defend this type of behavior make the majority of women in this country sick. History will not look kindly on you. And anyone who blames it on the reporter is just a disgusting human being, period.

Obama women, you better learn to love yourselves FAST, you still only make 77¢ to Obama's dollar. And with rape statistics being sky-high, you are only fooling yourselves if you dismiss sexism in this country. It's sad, but many of us Hillary supporters still stand up for you. You can thank us once you get the therapy you so desperately need.

Do you always have to make some feminist statement? He was just calling a girl sweetie, this isn't a big deal and it shouldn't be treated like one. I can almost guarantee you he did not mean this as a put-down. Relax. Women's rights were won in the 60's.

H of MI @ May 16, 2008 09:01:37 AM

Its a put down_Put the little lady in her place

The reporter should have responded by grabbing BOs ass. Then later say sorry, its just a habit I seem to have.

Lisa Smith of MN @ May 16, 2008 07:45:17 AM

Innocuous?

How about this…Pretend Hillary Clinton said it … and she said it to a black man …. and instead of "sweetie" she called him "boy".

How innocuous is it now?

I sure don’t know what it is like to be called "boy" in a professional situation, but I sure know what it’s liked to be called "sweetie".

Tamara588 of WA @ May 16, 2008 00:01:19 AM