The Best Way to Stop Sexual Harassment

Laughter and Sexual Harassment

As a Human Resources executive with over 20 years of experience, I have to agree with Linda Gordon Howard's advice on handling unwelcome behavior in the workplace. One of the best ways to prevent sexual harassment is to stop it when it occurs. Masking it under the pretense of laughter, although well-intentioned, may only cause further confusion and muddy the waters. Women should let the harasser know that the behavior is unacceptable, when it happens. They can be polite, direct, but firm.

The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission encourages victims of harassment to always confront the alleged harasser first, if at all possible. Let the individual know that the behavior will not be tolerated, and that it most likely is inconsistent with company policies. Only if the victim cannot confront the alleged harasser or if the notification is unsuccessful should the victim then proceed with filing a company complaint through usual grievance mechanisms established within the organization.

I have a lot more information on this that I'll be posting on a new website we just launched yesterday (it's very new) at yahoo at www.stopworkplaceharassment.com. We'll be hosting a women to women site that shares women's stories and experiences with sexual harassment, and we'll be providing resources and education designed to get help for those affected by this silent pain.

I'm also bringing in guest authors to write about specific topics that addresses the women's experiences. Everyone should feel free to write to us. I'll be writing back to each blogger personally. Thanks.

Normarae of CA @ Dec 03, 2008 22:22:59 PM

Best way to stop Sexual harrassment

Congratulations to Linda Gordon Howard, who knows how to effectively stop sexual harrassment. I totally disagree with Karen Burns suggestions. It's condescending and appears very out dated advice. The only other option I would suggest, if you don't want to take Linda's professional advice, is threaten to call his wife. Most of the harrassers are married.

R. Chambers of PA @ Oct 09, 2008 11:17:23 AM

Harassers are clueless

I agree with the theory that someone who is bold enough to sexually harass you in the workplace, is someone who does not pick up on normal social cues.

Case in point: a male co-worker who had a crush on me thought I was really cute and would say as much to me at the office. I told him that I really just wanted to keep our relationship professional (being that I was his supervisor) so he decided to continue these conversations by instant messaging me from his home computer instead.

I reported this to my boss and refused to work with this guy for the rest of his contract. No formal action was taken, but the guy was eventually turned down for permanent hire at my company and left.

Moral of the story: be as clear as you can that you will not tolerate this behavior (even if it is painfully embarassing or uncomfortable) and then do your best to steer clear of your harasser.

Harrassed of WA @ Oct 07, 2008 19:54:02 PM

Best said by Linda Gordon Howard! I cannot believe that in this day and age anyone would even suggest laughter as a response to sexual harrassment!!

flabbergasted in MD of MD @ Oct 07, 2008 13:57:51 PM

Laughter Not Best Response

I don't think anyone is an idiot, but I do think laughter is not the best response to sexual harassment. I think it is much better to clearly tell the person you are offended, that you want them to stop and that if they don't, or if they EVER do it again, you will report them immediately. Then do it. Laughing is too ambiguous and is easily misinterpreted. You need to be direct, firm, to the point and crystal clear. Let them know that sexual harassment is NOT a laughing matter and that you aren't going to put up with it. If it's especially heinous, go immediately to your manager and HR.

I would also add, if you are not feeling strong enough to confront the individual yourself, turn around, walk immediately to the HR office and get help. No one should ever have to put up with being harassed in any way. It's simply not funny and it's not something that has to be tolerated, overlooked or laughed away.

R. B. of OK @ Oct 07, 2008 11:59:41 AM

sexual harassment

Regarding the article on sexual harassment. I disagree with encoraging a person to laugh at the abuser. I have read biography's on men (son of Sam for one) committing the crimes against women suchas rape and murder. He admitted he loved brunette's but they would not go out with him. The one's he tried to make dates mad fun of him as if he was a nothing so he decided he would get back at them by killing and raping them. Everyone finds a way to get even. Most is very harmless. Look at the kids that kill in school, someone bullied and harassed them till they did something tragic to get even. Tom

Tom Walter of MT @ Oct 07, 2008 10:17:40 AM

Everyone chill out

I often read these blogs and rarely respond. This one hit too close to home not to. Ms. Burns was simply trying to state that there are certain situations that may need to be controlled with a little less stringent means than a lawsuit. Although I do not know that all women know how to control their laughter in 5 different ways; a lighter approach to throw off your harasser may be quite effective.

Statistics show that 90% of women are harassed in the workplace at one point in their career...90%! Sorry, Mark, only 45% of men reported harassment, although I do not mean to belittle your claims. I am simply stating that this is an unfortunate commonplace and all harassees should begin to find some means of empowerment against their harassers.

If laughter is Ms. Burns means of empowerment, than more power to her! One word of advice would be to know your situation and keep your eyes open. This could also backfire and leave you in a worse situation than you expected. The harasser needs to be informed that your laughter was not an invitation and that although you may have laughed at first, I think that once the moment has passed, you need to bring it up to the individual again and inform them of exactly what you meant. Follow-up will ensure he got the message loud and clear, not muddled with innuendo or in your case...laughter.

Everyone else out there, resorting to name calling could also constitute a type of harassment for poor Ms. Burns. It is simply called BULLYING. State your case and move on.

HRHeather of PA @ Oct 07, 2008 08:50:03 AM

Sexual harrasment

First of all, why assume it is a male harrassing a female. Where is the advice for males getting harrased? The answer is received from Linda Gordon Howard. Very sensible. The piece of advice I like best is no. 4...ask for a response to your reqeust to stop. If that doesn't send a message, I don't know what will. I think Ms. Burns' heart is in the right place, but Ms. Howard's advice is more practical. Thanks for letting me express my opinion.

Mark Singhisen of KS @ Oct 07, 2008 00:38:36 AM