Dealing With Family, Friends, and Money

What happens when you're not sure if it's a date?

I was chatting online with an old acquaintance about politics. He asked me very innocently if I worked nearby, perhaps we could continue our conversation over lunch or coffee. Today we had that lunch. It was a casual place where you pay at the register.. I ordered first and feebly pulled out my wallet. But I kind of just stood there fumbling, not really sure what I was supposed to do. So awkward. Like most guys would, he said, "I've got it" and handed over a $20 bill. But even those 30 seconds of not knowing were really uncomfortable. Not to mention giving him the, "are you sure? okay, well thank you, John!" big-smile line felt sooo fake. What's the right thing to do?

Diana Gilbert of CA @ Oct 03, 2008 21:41:16 PM

Answers

Here are the answers to your questions:

http://www.usnews.com/blogs/alpha-consumer/2008/2/20/readers-awkward-money-questions.html

Kimberly Palmer of @ Feb 20, 2008 14:04:42 PM

Family, friends and money

What's the rule about who pays while your dating? I'm still a graduate student, so my disposable income is almost non-existent. However my significant other has a steady job and a reliable source of income. I feel guilty that he always pays, even when I do have some cash available. I offer to pay but he more often than not refuses the very notion.

Veronica of NH @ Feb 10, 2008 18:52:13 PM

That's a great question John, thank you. I've gotten some other questions emailed to me, so if anyone has any more, please send them to me or post them by Monday, and then we'll get some answers for you -- thanks!

Kimberly Palmer of @ Feb 08, 2008 10:16:06 AM

Charitable misunderstanding

After a couple of good years during which I bought a very expensive house and new car, I had some tough financial times and am still struggling. Recently an old college friend phoned me to ask if I would consider a substantial contribution to our alma mater - he suggested $5,000, and I answered that that was way beyond my means. It was a difficult conversation for me, and we haven't spoken since.

I am afraid that he didn't believe me, and thinks that my $50 gifts mock a cause that's important to him.

Is there anything I can do to straighten things out so that he understands that I am supporting his cause in line with my reduced income?

John of CA @ Feb 07, 2008 14:57:01 PM

Thanks for the extra tips! Although, I'll be the first to admit that giving up some of those things (especially coffee) is not as easy as it sounds.

Now, how about some awkward money questions for Jeanne Fleming and Leonard Schwarz??

Kimberly Palmer of @ Feb 06, 2008 10:11:44 AM

family, friends and money

hi Kim, just remember, " no good deed goes unpunished", when you lend money to family, never expect it back, because chances are the balance of power, as far as money goes, is the way it is for a reason. Also, don't be so shy about speaking up. If you don't have the money for Chez Je Suis Fauche, then don't go, or say so.

bruce of NJ @ Feb 05, 2008 17:32:14 PM