Alpha Consumer

Sexism from Sales Reps

By Kimberly Palmer

Posted: September 17, 2008

Megan at Jezebel tells her refinancing story, which involves being treated poorly by loan officers. She writes:

This guy was from the hard sales side of the aisle. He kept telling me how he, and he alone, was looking out for my financial interests. Why would I want my mortgage rate to go up in 2008? Didn't I know rates were rising? How was I going to be able to keep my home if my ARM adjusted upwards by 3 points or more? Didn't I understand that he did this for a living and he was just trying to help me? I share this story because it wasn't the first time I've had a dude try to muscle me into a bad financial arrangement.

I've also experienced such condescension, most notably when my husband and I were buying a car and the sales rep addressed all of his comments to my husband, as if I were just a passive observer. (Another pet peeve—after we bought the car, all of the mail related to payments and car maintenance comes addressed to Mr. and Mrs. My Husband's Name, when that is not even my name. From the car company's perspective, I don't even exist.)

What do you think—is this sexism or oversensitivity?

Be the change you wish to see

Yes its sexism, not oversensitivity. I too have experienced similar situations and I believe you have every right to fight it, complain about it, take your business elsewhere and have your mail addressed to you in your name. I truly believe that if we make an effort one day we won’t just have to put up with it or let it go. If you don’t show and explain to society how you wish to be treated they will never get it. You can’t win with every jerk out there but at least you can stand up for yourself. As I am sure the Alpha Consumer knows taking you money to someone who isn’t going to demean you is the best lesson you can teach them.

Nora of CO @ Sep 22, 2008 19:48:15 PM

Both

When sales reps try to strong-arm you because you're a woman and they think they can pull the wool over your eyes--or think you know nothing about the item/service for sale, I would call that sexism. I know that when I bought my car two years ago, I didn't get as good of a deal on it as I would have if I had a man with me for the purchase.

As far as being called by your husband's last name and addressing him while talking...oversensitivity would perhaps be the problem. It's always helpful to run a little self-quiz about whether this would bother you if the same treatment were coming from a woman. Or if the man is trying to be respectful to you (or not taking advantage of you) by deferring to your husband.

Grace of VA @ Sep 18, 2008 17:01:29 PM

It's sexism

It's plain oldfashioned sexism. We should fight it, complain to managers, etc. But in the long run there will always be people who are sexist, or racist, or just jerks. We have to choose to then ignore it and go on.

Single mom of CO @ Sep 18, 2008 14:31:58 PM

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Alpha Consumer

Alpha Consumer

Kimberly Palmer, senior editor for U.S. News & World Report, writes about how to save money, avoid scams, manage debt, and be a savvy shopper. Send your personal finance questions to her for expert money advice.


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